Safety first: That’s my motto when asking strangers to look after the twins
DOUBLE TROUBLE FOR A FIRST-TIME DAD OF TWINS
I’D anticipated sleep, money and time as being problems, but not the art of managing complex operations, when all I wanted was a turnip from the fruit shop. The logistics of simple tasks take on a new dimension when you’re in control of a double buggy laden with human life. This particular Saturday, I’d left the house with the twins secured by a four-point racing harness. It’s similar to something Formula One drivers require, when they’re driving around a track at 200mph. Naturally, better safe than sorry, but I’d like to see
them move more than their heads and fingers, when we’re out for a walk. First stop was the fruit shop for that turnip and some overlyripe bananas for their pudding. Unfortunately, there was a large box of potatoes blocking the doorway. I thought I’d gently shove it out the way with the buggy but realized it was supporting a broken box of heavy looking courgettes. Rather than risk an entire box of vegetables emptying across a busy shop floor, I decided to assess surrounding shoppers for a suitable baby-sitting candidate.
Women were my first choice, but they were all bustling past laden with reusable bags. I stood outside for a while fishing for interest in the twins but nobody was taking the bait. Luckily, I spotted an older man with a dog next to a lamppost. To me a dog provides a halo of honest dependability and this coupled with the chap’s age led me to think he was a safe bet. I approached the stranger and politely asked if he’d mind making sure nobody stole the twins while I got my turnip. He replied, ‘why not’, which was fine but I would rather he had said something more along
the lines of ‘it’d be a pleasure’. Through the shop window, I was watching to make sure he did his job properly and although not embracing his role, they weren’t stolen. Turnip successfully purchased I returned to relieve him of his duty only to notice he smelt strongly of alcohol. It’s certainly not my place to judge but on closer inspection I also spotted he looked a little dishevelled,
weathered and was not as elderly as first thought. It was certainly a timely wake-up call in respect of my baby-sitting recruitment policy. Although the most important lesson was what I find an amusing anecdote about leaving the twins with a drunk stranger is something my partner Victoria may view very differently, therefore it’s best to keep these errors of judgement to ourselves. Let’s keep mum about this one.