What a porker! My ‘micro pig’ didn’t stop growing
When Janey Byrne got a mini pet, she wrongly assumed it would stay the same size…
It’s difficult not to fall in love with things when they’re mini… babies, puppies, kittens – and, in my case, micro pigs. I absolutely adored them. So much so, I even convinced my husband Dave to let me get one.
But what happens if your cute little critter ends up way bigger than you expected? We got the shock of our lives when our mini pig turned out to be a 24st pot-bellied porker in disguise!
I’d first met Dave in a nightclub in the late 80s. We’d had a dance and a cheeky snog before I gave him my number. He came to meet my parents, Pam and Barrie, the following day.
I knew that he was a keeper, but there was one thing I needed to make clear from the start. I didn’t want to have children. Maybe it was selfish, but I liked my life the way it was, and Dave made it all the better.
Thankfully, Dave didn’t want kids, either. So we’d married in 1991 and enjoyed meals out, trips to the cinema, jet-skiing and holidays abroad.
Animal magic
Our other shared interest was undoubtedly animals. I’d always loved them and had been desperate for a dog growing up, but my parents had said it was too much responsibility. But now that I had my own house and could make my own rules, Dave and I got our first rescue pup, Dechlun.
We adored her and were thrilled when we soon discovered she was pregnant. Dave and I kept one of the litter and found good homes for the others.
When Dave wasn’t at his firefighter job, we would go for long walks, and when I wasn’t working as a receptionist, I’d pamper the hounds.
Over the years, we rescued more animals and, although people thought I was barmy, I decided that I wanted to get… a pig! I adored the film Babe and, by 2010, I started reading about a new phenomenon: micro pigs. They were beautiful animals and celebrities had them, too, including Victoria Beckham and Charlotte Church.
Pigheaded
‘I really want one,’ I said to Dave, now 48. While he agreed that micro pigs were exceptionally cute, he told me there was no way I was allowed to have one.
In the meantime, I had to have a hysterectomy due to endometriosis and a deformed womb. I’d suffered years of
pain and, given that I didn’t want children, doctors had advised having the procedure.
After I’d recovered, I decided I was going on a pig hunt and scoured the internet. I nagged Dave about the pigs for months until he finally relented and eventually, in September 2010, I came across some in Leicester, 60 miles from my Lincolnshire home, and decided to drive over and take a look.
Love at first squeal
I immediately fell in love. The micro pigs fitted in the palm of my hand and were goodnatured, clean and just so adorable. I paid £350 for my chosen pet and decided to call her Meeka.
And she certainly was a prize pig! Back home, she’d sleep in bed with me and Dave – much to his disappointment. She loved food and tummy rubs and, before long, we’d even got her toilet trained. Our dogs adored her, too. ‘She’s getting awfully big,’ Mum, now 71, commented after visiting a few months later. Admittedly, when I considered it, Meeka had grown larger than I thought she would but, as I saw her every day, I hadn’t really been paying much attention. Yet soon, even I couldn’t deny that she was more maxi than micro. We took her along to the vet, who confirmed that Meeka was actually a full-size Vietnamese pot-bellied pig!
But there was no way I was getting rid of her and I didn’t even dream of going back to the seller to complain. Meeka was my baby, and I loved her.
Going the whole hog
She continued to grow, and by the time she’d reached a year old, she was too big to fit on the sofa. It didn’t stop her from bashing the cushions off it and making herself cosy on those, though!
However, even Meeka’s increasing size wasn’t enough to teach me a lesson. When Dave was away for a weekend in 2012, I got another pig. I sent him a picture and wrote: This is Molly.
He thought I was telling porky pies and, when he was realised I wasn’t, it’s safe to say he wasn’t best pleased!
As Meeka continued to grow, she would sleep on the floor, snuggled up under the stairs. I had my very own super-sized pig-in-a-blanket and she snored louder than anyone I knew.
Eventually, she reached 24st and even I had to admit she was a bit of a porker. She certainly hadn’t been what Dave and I expected, but it didn’t mean I loved her any less.
It’s sow or never
Molly got bigger, too, and we discovered she wasn’t a micro pig either. In fact, she was part wild boar and a grumpy so-and-so to boot. While Meeka loved to be pampered, often wore tutus and enjoyed having her trotters painted with special animal-friendly nail polish, Molly would have none of it.
The pigs keep a respectful distance from each other, but they do have the odd squealing match. While they go for walks in the garden and head out to do their business, they are really house pigs, sleeping under the stairs and enjoying their creature comforts.
Now, at 48, I adore my two sows more than ever. Sometimes I do still wish that I had a micro pig too, but I wouldn’t change Meeka, now seven, or Molly, five, for the world.
People might think I’m off my trotter, but these hogs are my whole world.
‘Soon, even I couldn’t deny Meeka was more maxi than micro’