‘I met my hubby on Tinder – and I’m almost 50!’
Claire Timms didn’t quite realise what she was letting herself in for when she joined the adult dating app, but sticking it out paid off…
When I first signed up to Tinder, I had no idea about its raunchy reputation. After all, I’d been married for 14 years and, when I got together with my husband, the online dating scene was pretty much non-existent.
So, when we split up in late 2013, not only was I devastated but I was also completely out of the loop.
At first, I didn’t care about meeting anyone else. I was too busy staggering around my house in Gillingham, Dorset, crying over everything that reminded me of my ex and feeling like a complete failure.
But, as the weeks turned into months, the raw grief over my broken relationship lost its initial sting, and I slowly realised that dwelling on it was the worst thing I could do.
At first, I decided to distract myself by getting fit, but then I remembered how much I hated running and despised going to the gym!
Then a friend suggested using the dating app, Tinder, as a way of getting back on the dating scene, and I decided to go for it. Not really to find another husband, but to take my mind off everything I was going through.
My friend told me she’d been on some fun dates when she ‘swiped right’ to indicate she’d like to meet people on the app, so I was full of enthusiasm when I registered.
I was surprised at how quickly I started getting messages – until I opened them. They were all so crude, and contained pictures of men’s private parts! And it wasn’t just one, either – they came at me thick and fast.
I couldn’t believe it. When I’d met my ex, men had never been this forward – or rude!
But I wasn’t about to let that put me off. So, although my four children – Naomi, now 32, Joe, 31, Zach, 18, and Lauren, 15 – thought I was crazy, and my mother told me I was being ridiculous, I persevered.
I blocked anyone who sent me a picture of their genitalia and started to examine the various profiles I ‘matched’ with.
I liked the ones who seemed to have a sense of humour, so I tentatively started sending messages of my own – all in very polite and conservative language, of course.
The first guy who asked me out lived near me and sounded friendly on the phone, so we agreed to meet at a local pub.
I noticed he was older – and larger – than his profile picture. Within minutes, I knew he wasn’t the man for me, but I decided to enjoy the evening anyway.
I’d assumed he’d felt the same way until he suddenly took my hand and softly said, ‘I love you.’
‘I’m sorry, I’ve got an emergency,’ I spluttered, grabbing my bag and heading quickly for the door.
The next chap I spoke to seemed up for a laugh on the phone but, when we met, he abruptly blurted out that his mum had passed away. ‘I’m sorry,’ I said, feeling awkward but sympathetic. ‘ When did you lose her?’ ‘This morning,’ he replied. ‘Can I read you the poem I’ve written for her funeral?’ How could I say no? So I sat uncomfortably as he wept his way through the long, emotional ode. I felt bad for him – but not bad enough to hang around. When I matched with a pilot on Tinder, I was quite excited. ‘He’s got to be normal,’ I told myself. But when he pulled his penis out under the table in the restaurant, I knew I’d picked another wrong ’un. ‘ What’s wrong with these men?’ I asked my friends, feeling deflated.
‘Stick with it – you’ll meet someone decent soon,’ they encouraged. To be honest, I think they were just enjoying listening to my dating disasters, but I pressed on.
When I met up with the next guy, I wished I hadn’t… On our date, I eyed his gymhoned physique with pleasure.
But I soon found out it wasn’t just to be admired – it was to be talked about, too. In fact, it was all he talked about.
By the end of the date, I knew how his abs looked in certain lights, how big they were and how much attention they attracted. The final straw came when he asked if I wanted to lick them. Urgh!
By this time, I was ready to give up… until I spotted a photo of an attractive Greek man. We talked on the phone for a couple of weeks and he was chatty and funny.
We agreed to meet up while I was in Devon for work, and I had a good feeling about this one.
I was staying in a hotel and had been looking forward to an afternoon of leisurely preparation for my date. So, I wasn’t best pleased to get a call saying he was already there – three hours early!
Stavros Moullaris, 56, turned up wearing a daft grin and driving a battered heap of a car, and admitted he was working in a friend’s chippy.
But the conversation flowed easily, and Stavros confided he’d been through a similar break-up to mine.
‘This is my third date of the day,’ he told me. ‘The second one was so awful, I’d had to make my escape.’
I knew exactly how he felt. We’d both been about to give up when we stumbled upon each other. Three years later, we’re still together and plan to marry next year in Greece, where his family live. Stavros made me a cuppa on my 50th birthday earlier this year and presented it to me with an engagement ring – and that was that!
Although my family worried that I was on the rebound from my ex, they can see how happy I am now.
I’m so glad I didn’t give up on Tinder. It may be a bit of a meat market, but I definitely found a hidden gem.
‘Back when I’d met my ex, men had never been this forward – or rude!’