Britain’s Got Talent: Why David’s annoyed with ‘my Simon’
Mischievous comedian David Walliams, 45, is never one to avoid a controversial comment when given the chance…
Speaking last week at an event in London, the fatherof-one (to son Alfred, four, with ex-wife Lara Stone) was more than happy to oblige. With a twinkle in his eye, he happily poked fun at his Britain’s Got Talent nemesis Simon Cowell, and suggested exactly which sexy celeb he’d love to sit beside should Amanda Holden or Alesha Dixon leave. He even hinted at a possible
Little Britain reunion...
BGT is in full swing – is it as much fun as it looks?
It is fun – intermittently fun, because there’s lots of waiting around and some boring bits. Simon doesn’t like to get out of bed until 4pm, which means the whole show is thrown into chaos every day as we start late and there are children who need to go to bed and people who need to get planes. When we’re somewhere like Liverpool, the audience are there at 2pm, he rolls up at 4pm and we start at 6pm!
What does he have to say when he rocks up?
He comes out and goes, ‘The reason we’re starting late today is because David was eating a three-course meal. I said to him, “David, we need to get started,” and he said, “No, the people of Liverpool can wait.” Then everyone starts booing me, as they don’t see he’s joking. That’s the position I have to start from, I have to win people back!
What kind of acts do you enjoy the most?
I much prefer the untalented people. The talented people bore me. If I hear another person singing Mariah Carey or Whitney Houston… BORING! I like… an old man hula-hooping – that is pure joy! BGT is a celebration of eccentricity, and anyone can have a go. Everyone has an uncle who plays the spoons, or an auntie who sings opera.
Simon has a distinct look – do you think he’s had ‘work’ done?
He is looking a bit Chinese, isn’t he? But yes, he does have his own style. You can tell Simon is one of these people who’s decided he looks good a certain way. He has those handmade shoes with, er, quite a big heel and he has
his flared jeans and his… un-tucked shirts. That’s his look and he’s sticking to it. It doesn’t do it for me, though.
If Amanda or Alesha were replaced, who would you like to work with?
Oh, they are lovely girls, and both great fun. Can I only swap one of them or both? I like Rita Ora a lot, and I’d like her to be sat next to me. Maybe Sharon Osbourne. Peter Kay would be good, or Alan Carr. Jimmy Carr? Someone I find really funny.
Your books are a huge success. Would you make a kids’ TV show?
I’d love to one day. I’d bring the Chuckle Brothers back. They’re an old-style comedy double act and they’re really funny. But I like doing the book adaptations. Some have been made into films, and Gangsta Granny is coming to the West End in summer.
Who inspires your work?
My granny. She became really animated when she was telling me about her life in WWII – I saw a totally different side to her. And Rowan Atkinson. I was obsessed with him growing up. I went to see him on stage as a teenager and waited outside the stage door. I asked him, ‘ What advice can you give to an aspiring comedian?’ and he said, ‘DON’T DO IT!’
Who, apart from Rowan, makes you belly laugh?
Some people just have funny bones, don’t they? When they walk on stage, they’re making you laugh. I loved Frankie Howerd. Alan Carr makes me laugh, and Jimmy Carr is a good pal. His humour is so brilliantly shocking. And Will Ferrell – I’d like to work with him one day.
Any plans to hook up with Matt Lucas again?
We’d love to work together again. He moved to America, which obviously makes it more complicated, but I’m sure we will one day.
Britain’s Got Talent continues on Saturdays, 8pm, on ITV1