My husband told me to lose weight… from beyond the grave!
Joanne Howey had always struggled with her weight, but it took a supernatural message to get her to take control…
Climbing out of the shower, I shuddered as I caught sight of my size-24 body. ‘I’m enormous,’ I exclaimed to my husband, Christian. But rather than dismissing my comment as usual, he looked concerned.
‘ You know I love you, but I’m worried about your health,’ he said. ‘ We need to look after ourselves to make sure one of us is always here for the kids.’
I was shocked. He’d never said anything like that to me before.
Ever since I was a teenager, I’d struggled with my weight. I worked in the school tuck shop, where I was paid in treats, but that wasn’t enough to satisfy my sweet tooth, so I’d spend my pocket money on more chocolate and crisps.
By the time I left school at 16, I was 5ft 4in and a size 16 – and when I started working at McDonald’s, I only got bigger. But that didn’t stop me marrying my childhood sweetheart, aged 22, and having three children, Elanor, now 15, William, 14, and Scarlett, 11.
I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes during my pregnancies, so I actually lost weight while I was expecting. But once I’d given birth, I went back to bingeing.
And that only got worse when my marriage broke down in August 2007. After tucking the kids into bed, I’d open a bottle of wine and a family-sized bag of crisps.
After a few months alone, I joined a dating site, but at 18st, I didn’t hold out much hope.
However, in May 2008, I met Christian, and it was love at first sight.
Because he cycled, Christian was slim, so I was self-conscious about my bulging body. But he made me feel beautiful.
I’d blush whenever he’d wink at me, which he found endearing, and it quickly became our secret way of saying ‘I love you’.
A year later, I fell pregnant, and our son, Toby, was born in November 2009.
On my birthday, in April 2011, Christian proposed, and I was determined to lose weight before the wedding, which we arranged for August 2013.
But life was hectic and, too tired to cook, I’d find myself ordering an Indian takeaway instead. Christian never put on a pound, but I soon weighed a whopping 19st 7lb.
But even then, Christian was never bothered about my weight. Which was why, in February 2012, I was so shocked that he’d brought up my health.
Yet, looking back now, it was as if Christian had had some sort of premonition. Just a few weeks later, he began suffering from a niggling pain down his left side.
His GP sent him to hospital and a scan showed that he had a 7cm tumour growing near his stomach. I was frantic with worry but a biopsy confirmed that it wasn’t cancerous. However, he’d still need to have it removed.
We moved our wedding forward to April 2012 and, although I was still a size 24, the minute I joined Christian in front of the registrar, he winked at me and a wave of love washed over me.
Two months later, Christian went in for surgery and, after two weeks, he was allowed home.
But then he developed
a fever. In constant pain, he needed morphine every hour and, after four days, he was readmitted to hospital. There, he was diagnosed with septicaemia and, as his condition deteriorated, doctors placed him in an induced coma.
I sat by his bedside for hours, playing a video of Toby saying, ‘I love you, Daddy.’ But it was no use, and doctors warned me that the love of my life wasn’t going to get better.
Through my tears, I stroked his head. ‘If you need to go, you can,’ I whispered.
Seconds later, he passed away. He was just 38.
The grief hit me hard, and the next day, as I showered, I sobbed at the thought of washing off his last touch. But as I came downstairs, my phone bleeped with a message – from Christian… ‘Night night,’ I read, my eyes widening. I couldn’t believe it. Was Christian still looking out for me from beyond the grave?
And that wasn’t the only time I felt him there. My phone would often ring, but no one would be there, and microwaves would ping even though they weren’t on.
But that didn’t stop my mourning, and every night, I’d gorge on crisps and chocolate.
Inevitably, I piled on the pounds and, by May 2014, I was 21st 3lb and a size 28.
By then, I’d struggle to walk up the stairs. I’d looked into bariatric surgery and joined Slimming World, but I couldn’t find the motivation.
Then, one day, just before Christmas 2014, I was sitting on the sofa when I suddenly got a strong feeling Christian was with me.
Then his words echoed in my head: ‘One of us needs to be here for the children.’
I felt so guilty. Now Christian was gone, I couldn’t risk my life. I had to change.
So, in January 2015, I started sticking to the Slimming World plan and lost 2st in two months. Then, my doctor approved me for a gastric bypass operation, which took place in June 2015, and over the next 18 months, I lost 9st.
At 39, I now weigh 10st 7lb and love my size-10 figure.
I know Christian is watching over me, giving me a wink to show me how proud he is.
‘Looking back, it was as if Christian had had a premonition’