I want my daughter back in my life...

My 25-year-old daughter has been living with my ex since we split up, when she was 17. I had some personal problems of my own, and just didn’t give her the love she needed. Now I feel I have sorted my own life out, I think I can be the mum she needs – but she clearly hates me for ‘disappearing’ from her life. How do I even begin to make amends with her? Melissa, Manchester

You will need to be very, very patient with your daughter. I don’t think you can disappear from her life, even if you had good reason, and then hope to simply pick up where you left off. To move forward, you will need to be prepared to have some honest and perhaps painful conversations about why you couldn’t give her what she needed at that time. To start, why not write her a letter and explain the way you feel? I think you need to take it slowly, and hopefully she will come around.