Could this woman be dating your son?
More over- 50s than ever are using dating apps and websites – even if you wouldn’t consider it yourself...
Whether you’ve been single for a while or recently been through a divorce or a messy break-up, the chances are, once you’ve healed, you’ll want companionship, affection and maybe even a physical relationship.
And this applies whatever your age. Research from Trinity College Dublin found that 59 per cent of over-50s are having regular sex, with a third of those being intimate at least once or twice a week. And, while those statistics speak volumes, there’s also been a sharp rise in the
number of divorces in the UK, with more than 13,000 women aged 55 and over divorcing in 2016.
So, how do you meet men if you’re single and over 50? In the last decade, there’s been a surge in online dating activity. It’s estimated that half of all single Brits are using dating apps and websites, with one in five relationships now beginning online.
Further research from dating website eHarmony reveals that one in six over-50s used online dating services in 2017 – double the number compared to 2010.
‘I think it’s a good thing older women are feeling courageous enough to try internet dating, and that should be applauded,’ says clinical psychologist Linda Blair.
One woman who has been outspoken about internet dating is twice-divorced writer Karen Krizanovich, 53. There are many different apps and websites available, but one of the most popular is Tinder. On the app, you set your location parameters and, when a picture of a potential match comes up on your phone, you swipe right if you like the look of them, or swipe left if you’re not interested.
And, while Tinder wasn’t for Karen, friends advised her to try Bumble, another dating app where, unlike its counterparts, women get to contact men first – not the other way around.
Karen quickly found that younger men were interested in her. So, she edited her profile to make it even more attractive to men in a lower age bracket.
‘At first I wrote, “Your mum told me to swipe right,”’ explains Karen. ‘The millennials got the joke. I was aware that I was chatting with someone who, in another possible world, could have been my son.
‘My friends made jokes about the age gaps until I said, “Hey, I’m swiping right on your son tonight, but don’t worry, we won’t marry!’’’
Linda Blair agrees that internet dating may help to broaden people’s horizons when trying to meet someone new. ‘ You always used to hear about older men dating younger women but, with the internet, those roles are being reversed and that’s liberating for women,’ she says.
So, dating apps may break down barriers. But, with the internet, where users are more accessible, does that bring with it a whole new set of dangers?
A spokesperson for Tinder explains the company takes the safety and security of its users very seriously. ‘ We continuously advise our community to be cautious, report any suspicious activity and pay attention to our safety recommendations, available online and through the app,’ they say.
The importance of safeguarding yourself online is something that Linda echoes. ‘The older generation may not be quite so savvy when it comes to what information to share online,’ she adds. ‘It’s second nature to millennials, so it’s worth getting advice from your kids or grandkids.’
Sadly, all internet daters need to be aware that they may receive unwanted attention from people that are hard to shake off.
There are no official statistics for the number of people who have been cyberstalked in the UK. The 2006 British Crime Survey estimated that five million people are stalked each year, but experts estimate the figure to be far higher due to the rise of internet dating.
What can women do to stay safe when using dating sites, apps and social media?
Andrew McClelland, from trade body the Online Dating Association, says, ‘The main things are: meet in public; tell someone else where you’re going and who with; if something doesn’t feel right, leave; and, above all, share your online conversations with friends and family – they’ll often spot something isn’t right before you do.
‘ We also encourage those who are targeted to report the problem to law enforcement and the dating platform they’re using,’ Andrew continues. ‘Many platforms employ a range of tools to detect suspicious activity, and the more the platforms know about the activities, the stronger the tools become for preventing it.’
So, while the online world can be a great place to meet potential partners – even toy boys! – it’s evident that we still need to be cautious when looking for love.
‘The older generation may not be quite so savvy about what to share online’