Be the Best you with Calum & Angie Best
Calum: With Father’s Day looming, I started thinking about my relationship with my own dad. I was about one when my mother left him. She couldn’t cope with his drinking. She says she couldn’t take care of two babies – it was me or him. She chose me, and we moved to Los Angeles.
I understand her actions, but I often wonder how my life might have been if my dad had been around more.
Fathers should be role models for sons (and daughters!). They have such a lot to teach us about relationships and self-belief.
These days, I’m happy and feel strong. But I’ve had to learn the hard way, tackle obstacles and find answers on my own.
I wish Dad had helped me to manage money. I had no idea how to control my finances, and no one around I could trust. So, I went bankrupt – you could say I learnt that lesson the hard way.
As for relationships, boys want to ask their dads about girls – what do I do? How does it work? Luckily, being raised by my mum, and spending a lot of time around great women, I’m comfortable in the company of ladies. But I wonder if my lack of a father impacted on me being able to hold down a steady relationship?
Self-belief is another important lesson. Children want to be told, ‘Well done, I’m proud of you.’ Without these things, it can affect a child’s self-worth.
In hindsight, not hearing those things from my dad really messed with my selfesteem. Didn’t he love me? Wasn’t I good enough?
I suppose the moral of this story is: dads, be there for your kids. And, to parents who worry they won’t stay the course, I’d say: try to make it work, always put your little people first. Happy Father’s Day!