Tony Cowell talks to X Factor’s Ben Haenow
Ben Haenow, 33, shot to fame after winning
The X Factor in 2014. But, after he was dropped by label Syco, the singer went to a very dark place, to the point where he felt he couldn’t face the outside world. Now, after two years away, the former van driver is finally back and on fighting form with a second album. Here, he talks about life after The X Factor, and how his wife, Jessica, saved him when he was at his lowest ebb...
Your new album, Alive, is out this month. Are you happy with it?
Really happy, and a little bit anxious – it’s been a long time coming! I wrote all the songs on it with my brother, Alex. I think it’s a lot more honest than my first album.
Does the music herald a change of direction for you – is this the real Ben?
Yes, it is. Creatively, I was very proud of the first album, but I’ve evolved musically since then. This is more ‘poppy and rocky’ and not so balladheavy as the first. I have more creative freedom on the new album, which was quite scary, because this is the first album I’ve done on my own!
Your song Falling Down is based on your time on The X Factor – was that hard to write?
Yes. My experiences before and after the show inspired it, so it was quite a tough song to write. I wanted to be open and honest as to how that feels. It was about me and the struggle after I’d won. I wanted people to understand what that feels like. It’s not all about fame and money, it’s quite often about dealing with things on your own. It can get quite lonely.
You come from a close family. Has that helped you, particularly when you were dropped in 2015 by your record company?
Yes, it has. My family helped me to get through all the pressures of being on The X Factor and then, afterwards, when the label dropped me, I felt as if I had let everyone down. It was at those times when they were there to pick me up and help me start feeling good about myself again. Particularly my wife, Jessica. She was pivotal. I’m very lucky to have had her constant support.
Did you lose your confidence after being dropped by Syco?
Yes. It was weird, because I’ve always been very outgoing and loved being with people. Even before The X Factor, I was just a normal bloke who drove a van for a living. My lowest point came a little after I parted ways with Syco. I just didn’t feel I could leave the house and go out. In fact, I spent three months not leaving the house! It was the thought of what people would think, what they’d ask me. I was scared to face other people. I felt a bit lost, to be honest – I just didn’t want to talk to anyone. In the end, you have to come to terms with it in your own time, and that’s really what I did.
How do you look back on your time on The X Factor?
I have no ill feeling towards anyone on the show. I wouldn’t be able to do what I’m doing now without that huge platform I was given, so I’m really grateful to everyone who worked on that show. I suppose I look back on it now with mixed feelings. I wished that, back in 2014, they allowed contestants to sing original songs, like they did last year. Because I would have liked the opportunity to perform my own songs.
Simon was your mentor. If you met with him today, what would you want to say to him?
I’m not really sure what I’d say. Simon is an extraordinary businessman and, if I take away the emotional attachment of me losing ‘a job’ and look at it purely from a business perspective, I feel no resentment or hatred towards him whatsoever. But I would want to try and get some closure on what happened. I suppose I’d ask him a bit more about what was behind some
of the decisions made at that time.
Was getting married last year a big turning point in your life?
Massively. After my ‘down’ period, I started thinking about what was really important in my life – and that’s when I knew I wanted to marry Jess. I think we were right to wait and do it privately. We were offered money by newspapers and magazines, but we’re very private and wanted to do it our way. So we went to this little place in Italy where my nan was brought up, and she acted as our vicar. I cried the whole way through. It was the happiest day of my life.
Have you and Jess made any plans for children?
Yes, I think that’s next on the cards! In one way, I’m still chasing my dream in music, but that’s being a bit unfair on Jess, and there comes a point in life when you have to say it’s time to focus on what makes you happy – and that’s Jess, and spending more time with her. So, yes, now we are planning a family together.
‘My lowest point came a little after I parted ways with Syco… I was scared to face other people. I felt a bit lost, to be honest’