I didn’t know when to stop!
Amanda Waldram always loved food, but her weight was making her unhappy...
The doctor didn’t say it in so many words, but I knew what he was getting at. I was too fat for surgery. It was that simple. I’d been admitted with excruciating stomach pains and sickness a few days earlier, and had been diagnosed with a gall bladder problem. I couldn’t have it removed via keyhole surgery because, at over 20st and a size 26, I was too big.
It was the first time I’d actually had to admit there was a problem with my weight. I couldn’t understand how I’d done this to myself. Visions flashed through my head of not being around for my kids, Sullivan, now 20, and Kyra, 17, or my husband Darron, 50.
It just didn’t bear thinking about. Yet I managed to convince the consultant to let me try to lose weight so that I didn’t have to go under general anaesthetic. ‘I’m going to do it,’ I said to Darron. I knew I couldn’t make excuses any longer…
Up until my teens, I’d always been slim. At 5ft 10in and a size 14, I ate mountains of food. But I was so active – forever horse riding and playing badminton – that my huge portions didn’t matter.
Only then, in 1993, when I was 22, I was in a serious car accident and sustained a spinal injury. I keep eating the same amount of food, yet I was bedbound for weeks. It didn’t take long for my eating to catch up with me. I had such a sweet tooth and I loved jelly sweets. To me, a serving of shortbread meant the whole packet. And when I fell pregnant with Sullivan in 1997 and Kyra in 2000, I took eating for two very seriously. Whenever I had check-ups with the midwife, I’d ignore the increasing numbers on the scales. And as the kids grew, every week we’d have a family date night where we picked a theme. I’d cook a lavish meal accordingly… Mexican, Chinese, Italian – I never scrimped on portions. But while the kids and Darron stopped eating when they were full, I’d carry on until my plate was clean. But after my health scare in 2005, and a size 26, I knew it was crunch time. Thankfully, I managed to change my diet and slim down a bit. So, by November 2005, I was a size 22, and had keyhole surgery at Nottingham University Hospital to remove my gall bladder. It took me weeks to recover, and I was determined not to slip back into old habits. So, three months later, in February 2006, I joined Weight Watchers. I was worried I’d be starving all the time, but I only had to make simple changes to my diet to reap the results. By July 2006, I was down to 15st 4lb
and feeling brilliant. I had so much more energy, fewer aches and pains and felt more confident.
In April the following year, I reached my goal weight of 12st 6lb and a size 12. ‘ You’ve done brilliantly,’ Darron said. He didn’t care what I looked like – he was just pleased I was healthier.
But the rest of 2007 was awful. We lost my beloved dad suddenly, as well as my father-in-law and my grandfather. I became depressed and my eating habits went downhill. I knew I needed to concentrate on my mental health, so didn’t beat myself up too much about my food intake.
It was a slow process, but with the help of antidepressants and the support of my friends and family, I came out the other side.
It wasn’t until 2016 that I decided to re-join Weight Watchers. My mum, Phyl, now 68, had needed a double hip replacement, and after her recovery, she was determined to lose weight.
‘For the first time, I’m not scared by the prospect of doing this for a lifetime’
‘I don’t want to go through that again,’ she said. So, I went along to support her. By then, my weight had crept up to 17st 4lb and I was a size 22.
I started weighing my food again and controlling my portions. I swapped the full-fat cream and milk that I usually cooked with for a healthier alternative, and there were so many delicious recipes out there, I never got bored.
Darron and the kids still lapped up my dishes and I liked that we were all eating healthily. I lost about 1lb each week, but thought slow and steady was the best way.
Now, at 48, I’m down to 14st and a size 16. I know I can reach my goal weight again and, with the new Weight Watchers Flex plan and ‘free foods’, for the first time, I’m not scared by the prospect of doing this for a lifetime.
It’s been a long journey, but I’m proud of what I’ve achieved. I know my family are, too, and I couldn’t have done it without them.