The picture that changed my life
Donna Comrie was horrified when she realised she was the ‘fat mum’ at her daughter’s graduation ceremony...
Turning my key in the lock, I couldn’t get through the front door quickly enough. ‘Ginger, ginger!’ the taunts of the school bullies still echoed in my ears. As soon as I knew I was safe, I collapsed in tears.
Ever since I started high school, I’d been picked on relentlessly. I wasn’t in the ‘in’ crowd and my red hair made me an easy target.
‘ What’s wrong?’ my mum Sheila, then 37, would ask.
‘Nothing,’ I mumbled. I was too upset to talk about what I was going through.
I couldn’t get away from the cruel kids at school, but I had found a way to make myself feel better – food.
After a tough day, I would come home and comfort myself with a packet of biscuits. Before I knew it, I’d be opening another packet, and finishing that off, too.
Over the years, food became my saviour, and it soon showed on my waistline.
When I left school at 17, I was a size 20.
I hated the way I looked, and avoided mirrors and shop windows. I hated the sight of my own reflection.
At 18, I left home in Fife to go to university in Edinburgh.
I’d hoped moving would give me some independence but, in truth, I was lonely and, of course, I turned to my ‘friend’ – food – to cheer me up.
I would snack on chocolate bars between lectures before tucking into a pie for lunch.
In the evenings, I would order a Chinese takeaway, piling my plate high with special fried rice.
Pickled onion crisps were my other vice. I could easily eat six packets in one sitting.
I decided to leave university and moved back to Fife, where I got a job in a bank. Then, when I was 19, I met my first boyfriend, and we had our daughter, Melissa, in March 1991. We split up soon after.
Being a mum was wonderful but I never found time for myself, and I pushed my weight to the back of my mind.
In February 1994, when Melissa was almost three, I bumped into David, then 21, in a nightclub.
‘It’s so great to see you,’ he beamed at me.
David and I knew each other from school.
As we chatted, David asked all about Melissa and at the end of the night I was surprised when he asked if I’d like to go on a date. ‘ Yes,’ I smiled. David worked as a postman and played football. Unlike me, he was slim and fit. I was a size 22, what did he see in me?
But on that first date, I realised David saw beyond my weight. He seemed to like me just the way I was.
Three months later, I discovered I was pregnant.
‘That was quick!’ David laughed when I told him.
In July 1994, five months after we got together, David and I were married at our local register office.
I wore a beautiful dress with lace embroidery and, although I was overweight, with David by my side I felt like the luckiest woman on earth.
Our daughter, Cheryl, was born in January 1995, weighing 9lb 9oz.
She was soon followed by Aimee in June 1996, and Euan in April 2001.
With four children to look after, my weight was at the bottom of my list of priorities.
The years passed in a haze of school runs, family days out and nights in front of the TV.
Then, in 2016, Cheryl graduated from university with a degree in chemistry.
‘ We are so proud of you,’ I told her as she walked out of the hall in her gown.
She grinned. ‘Let’s get a picture together.’
I froze on the spot. For years, I’d avoided photographs.
‘If there’s one thing I’ve learnt’ ‘You can’t hide from yourself for ever’ ‘In the space of 15 months, I lost 8 ½ stone’
But this was such a big day for Cheryl, so I put my arm around her shoulder and smiled for the camera.
Looking at the picture on Cheryl’s phone, I felt a lump at the back of my throat.
At a size 26, my ginormous body took up most of the photograph. I’d spent so long in denial, but here was the evidence, right in front of me.
‘That’s it,’ I told David. ‘I have to do something.’
Soon after, I joined Slimming World. Stepping on the scales at my first class in October 2016, I weighed in at 20st 9lb.
At 5ft 5in, my BMI was 48 – anything over 29.9 is considered overweight. I was dangerously overweight.
I started swapping my usual bacon sandwiches for fruit and yoghurt in the morning, and instead of pies for lunch I ate a jacket potato with tuna.
In my first week, I lost more than half a stone.
I started experimenting with Slimming World recipes, and each week I could feel myself shrinking.
In the space of just 15 months, I lost eight and a half stone, slimming down to 12st 2lb and a size 12-14.
‘Incredible,’ said David, when I came home in a size 14 dress. He was so supportive every step of the way.
My weight loss left me feeling more energetic and confident, but there was one thing that bothered me. I’d been left with loose skin on my arms.
‘Bingo wings!’ I moaned to David. ‘I can’t go out without a jacket.’
He tried his best to reassure me, but my wobbly arms were getting me down.
Soon after, I went to see my GP to ask about surgery.
‘Unfortunately, your BMI has to be below 27 before we can refer you,’ he explained.
Now, aged 47, I am aiming to get to 11st 9lb so I can be referred for an operation to remove the fat on my arms.
I’ve come such a long way in two years, I just need a little bit of help to make me feel truly happy in my own skin.