A dangerous craze on the rise
Is our obsession with Instagram perfection behind the alarming rise in women who self-harm?
It’s a staggering fact, but the number of women admitted to hospital in England for self-harm has doubled in the past 20 years.
A whopping 13,463 patients were admitted last year, compared with 7,327 in 1997. One charity says the condition is so widespread that it has to hold an average of 42 counselling sessions every day, specifically dedicated to the issue of self-harm.
Since most self-harm is kept hidden, the very little we know about the condition comes from hospital admissions. And what that tells us is that two out of every three cases are women and, after selfpoisoning, cutting is the most common method.
But what makes people feel so low that they turn to physically harming themselves?
Psychologist Dr Kathryn Kinmond says, ‘ When
something unbearable is happening inside, people harm outside, to show you the pain they are feeling inside.’
Not just for teens
Stephen Buckley, head of information of the mental health charity, Mind, agrees with Dr Kinmond.
‘Some people who self-harm use it as an outlet or a release by which they can let pain “out” and provide distraction from emotional struggles. It’s a way of feeling like they have some sort of control,’ he says.
Although most of us associate self-harm with teenage behaviour, it actually affects middle-aged women, too – they are just better at hiding it.
Mum-of-three Cheryl Osterfield is now 40. She started self-harming when she was 28, after the birth of her second child. Struggling to cope with a newborn and a toddler, she developed postnatal depression, aggravated by an eating disorder and alcoholism.
‘I was at my wits’ end,’ says Cheryl, whose three children are now aged 13, 12, and five. ‘I hated myself. I hated what was happening.
‘ When I self-harmed, I felt better. I could see the pain on the outside, rather than it being inside and not being able to cope with it. If I cut myself, I could see it.’
Self-harming is hard to understand, agrees Dr Kinmond.
‘Different people have different motivations,’ she says. ‘Often, it’s at times of crisis. A lot of people say, “I’m harming the body because my mind is not right.”
‘Other people find it’s a way of gaining control when they feel things have got out of hand in other areas of their life.’
So, according to Dr Kinmond, self-harm can be an outward expression of how a person is feeling inside.
This is exactly what was happening to Cheryl – she was overwhelmed by being a new mum and having a younger child to care for. Her battle with alcohol, depression, eating disorders and self-harm were a vicious circle – one that would dominate her life for the next 10 years.
‘There was this whole cycle I’d got into,’ Cheryl says. ‘I’d eat loads, make myself sick, then I’d start drinking, then with drinking I’d sink lower into depression and I would find myself going round in circles. The self-harm validated how I was feeling inside. It never scared me, it made me feel more peaceful.’
Eventually, Cheryl got her condition under control.
‘I still have scars. People notice the marks and I try to pass them off as something that happened a long time ago.
‘ When my children ask me about the scars, I tell them I got into a fight with a cat.’
Older females who self-harm usually have a history of this behaviour. Either they started as teenagers and have been hiding their behaviour for decades, or depression in mid-life – triggered by empty-nest syndrome, later life divorce or struggling with ageing – has reignited their former behaviour.
Given that, once a youngster has started selfharming, they are in danger for the rest of their lives, it’s necessary to look at why cases are on the rise.
Psychiatrists wonder if it’s down to a combination of pressures and body image issues, brought on by the images of ‘perfection’ we are bombarded with on social media.
Show you care
An even more disturbing development is the existence of ‘pro-cutting’ websites that actively encourage selfharm. A few simple clicks and anyone can watch these sickening sites.
Stephen Buckley of Mind says, ‘If you are worried that someone you care about is self-harming, it’s really important to let them know you are there for them whenever they are ready to talk about how they feel – even if it’s just a text or an email.
‘Listening to them nonjudgmentally will help them open up and will give you the opportunity to then seek support from their local GP or support groups.’
Returning to Cheryl’s story, she had to stop other disruptive behaviour in her life to get her urge to hurt herself under control.
‘Stopping drinking helped me,’ she says. ‘The two fed each other. It was like a chickenand-egg situation.
‘I know people are becoming more aware of mental health, but nobody really understands what it’s like unless you have been there.’
Older women who self-harm usually have a history of this behaviour