The little donkey who came in from the cold
Alison Wiseman’s unusual pet has caused havoc but that doesn’t stop her loving him – and he’s not just for Christmas!
Just as I put the turkey in the oven and checked on the Brussels sprouts, I heard something smash in the living room.
Most people would be annoyed if their pet tore apart their Christmas tree, but I couldn’t be mad at our resident donkey, Bond. He was far too cute.
Bond, a miniature Mediterranean donkey, was born at our farm in Dundee on 14 September 2017. As soon as I set eyes on him, it was love at first sight.
‘He needs to come inside and live with us,’ I said to my husband, John, now 67.
He rolled his eyes, but the idea wasn’t as crazy as it sounded. The tiny foal had been rejected by his mother, who had been kicking him away and wasn’t feeding him properly. No doubt, the little donkey would have a long dusty road to plod along ahead of him. Crucially, he wouldn’t survive outside by himself – winter was coming, his mum wasn’t feeding him and he was only the size of a small border collie.
Not about to let that happen, I took him in and named him Donkey Bond after my favourite 007 actor, Sean Connery.
Straight away, he made himself at home, curling up in front of our warm AGA stove and closing his eyes.
‘I hope the dogs are good with him,’ I worried, but I didn’t need to. He was much the same size as them!
Bond swiftly became part of the pack, playing outside and trying to jump up on to the sofa when the dogs did. In particular, I couldn’t keep him away from our Irish wolfhound, Cilla Bark, and he’d nuzzle into her like she was his mum.
At first, Cilla Bark was protective but, before long, our wayward pooch was leading Bond astray. He’d only been living with us a month when I came home to find my kitchen had been torn apart. My cookery books had been swept off into a heap on the floor and there was food spilling from open cupboards.
I spotted the culprit right away. Bond trotted over with a ripped Mary Berry cookbook hanging from his mouth.
‘Bond, no!’ I shouted. But, despite his horsing around, I couldn’t stay mad at him for long.
Because, no matter how naughty Bond was, he was also sweet and affectionate. Of an evening, he’d sit by my feet to be stroked, and he’d always be the first person to greet our guests at the door.
‘He’s no Eeyore,’ I’d smile at the cheeky sparkle in his eye.
After that, I’d often catch Cilla Bark pulling open the
cupboards so that Bond could help himself to bars of chocolate and tear through bags of ground coffee.
‘The terrible twosome,’ John laughed, as they pranced around the house together.
As Bond got bigger and more mischievous, we knew it was time for him to go outside – but, since it was nearly winter, we decided to let him stay indoors for a bit longer.
So I knew that, as I dusted off the Christmas decorations, I’d have to be extra careful to keep anything breakable and fragile well out of reach.
‘ You’re not to touch these,’ I warned Bond, but, even before I could pop the last bauble on the tree, he was running around the house with tinsel in his mouth.
And, of course, when I hosted a festive party, all of my friends and family were far more interested in posing for pictures with Bond in his knitted Christmas jumper than tucking into the canapés and mulled wine I’d provided.
I was so besotted, I even bought him a few things to unwrap on Christmas Day itself. When he saw his presents, his head perked up and he dashed towards the shiny wrapping paper. And at lunchtime, John and I set up a spot next to our dining table and piled up a plate especially for him.
By the New Year, Bond had grown to the size of a Labrador and had the energy of one, too. Even I couldn’t deny that he’d outgrown the house now.
But putting him outside was heartbreaking. I’d lead him out gently, but then he’d stand outside, looking pitifully in at us through the window.
It took a while but our dinky donkey eventually adapted, and now he’ll happily spend the night outside. But he still prefers his canine companions, waiting for them loyally at the back door, instead of joining the other donkeys who live on the farm.
And Bond will always have a special place in our hearts. In September this year, I threw him a birthday party and made him a carrot cake to chomp his way through. My post box flooded with cards for him, and one friend made him a coat.
We’ve also set up a special Facebook page to keep our friends up to date with his animal antics. It now has 1,600 likes, and people visit our farm just to see him.
And, for a special treat this year, Bond will be allowed back indoors on Christmas Day. Although we’ll be keeping him away from the tree, he’ll definitely be joining in our ‘mule’-tide greetings!
‘As soon as I set eyes on Bond, it was love at first sight’