Plus the truth about my marriage to Eamonn – by Ruth
This month, RUTH’s mind turns to Valentine’s Day past and present – and she’s mulling over the real meaning of love…
LOVE IS NOT BLIND! It’s in the little things
Ialways think Valentine’s Day cards and demonstrations of love aren’t important but then I realise that, if no one flirted with me, I’d probably be quite miffed. I married the right man in Eamonn – he makes a big deal of 14 February and is very good at loving gestures all year round. In fact, I would go as far as to say, though not to his face, that I know I’m cherished.
Being cherished is a very nice feeling. The first time I felt it was the first time I received a Valentine’s card, aged 11. It was a 3-D pop-up. When I opened it, a man dangling on a parachute sprang forward. Written underneath was, ‘I’ve Fallen For You Feet First.’
My little heart skipped a beat and I danced around the room, flattered beyond belief. ‘Somebody loves me!’ And I knew who he was. His name was Lucas, and the reason I think he loved me was that he’d ripped his new anorak and was petrified about his mum finding out. Ever my mother’s daughter, helpful and practical to a fault, I gushed, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll get my sewing basket and fix it for you.’ Lucas’s eyes lit up in glowing admiration. It was like we’d become engaged – well, in my 11-year-old mind, we were practically married.
Lucas never signed his card and he never said he sent it, nor did I say I received it. But we both knew.
The man I did get engaged to was definitely worth waiting for. Step forward, Mr Eamonn Holmes…
We circled each other for about four years without ever saying what we felt. What we both knew was that we fancied each other and loved each other’s company. Eamonn was shy, though, and he made me shy in his company, which got us nowhere.
It won’t surprise you to know it was an argument that brought us together! One day, I realised he had other options, or so he said. Well, that lifted the lid off our pressure-cooker passion. The rest is history, and that history is now so strong that I just can’t imagine my life without him. I’m not the best when it comes to responding to his love notes, texts, date nights and all he does, but he knows I show him my love in other ways.
Eamonn is a gestures person. I’m more of a create-a-nest-and-look-after-him person. Ours is a love that complements. It’s also a love that entertains. Laughter is a massive binding force for us.
Also, neither of us can imagine life without our dog. Maggie shows us an unconditional love that no human is capable of. Whatever sort of day you’ve had, a dog will be there to make it better. On the rare occasions Eamonn and I fall out, Maggie can lick our wounds, calm us down and give us common ground again.
I’m not here to boast or feel smug about
having love in my life. Ours is just as fragile as anyone else’s, and the fatal mistake would be to take it for granted. We are not perfect, but we are still in love.
So, what is love? For us, it is not blind, but it evolves all the time. It’s small things like finishing each other’s sentences, knowing how each of us thinks – at times, it’s telepathy.
It involves knowing what type of people we are, what our standards are, loving our children, our parents and our friends. Respecting each other, but not being afraid to disagree. We call it rutting!
But remember, the best bit about falling out is making up!
Happy Valentine’s Day, and may there be love in your life.
Oh, and P.S. Mr Holmes… I love you. X