Kate in family therapy: ‘It helps to talk’
When her brother James revealed he was battling depression, the Duchess (recently returned from a tour of Pakistan) lent her support, joining the family therapy sessions
Our younger Royals have been proving that when it comes to mental health, their stance is very far removed from the ‘stiff upper lip’ approach of past generations. But now James Middleton, the younger brother of the Duchess of Cambridge, has made the most emotionally honest revelation yet – sharing the news that following a crippling depression which left him with suicidal thoughts, he underwent intensive therapy -and in some sessions was joined by big sister Kate.
Speaking to a newspaper, he described how he underwent a year of cognitive therapy, and his whole family joined him – including his supportive older sister.
“All of them ( joined me). Not necessarily at the same time, but either individually or sometimes together. And that was so important because that helped them understand me and how my mind was working... I think the way the therapy helped me was that I didn’t need my family to say, ‘ What can we do?’
Two years ago, James, 32, was so ill that he admitted he was having suicidal thoughts, although he said he would not have acted upon them, admitting ‘I couldn’t bear to do it to my family or dogs.’
Now happily, with intensive therapy and the support of his family, James is in an infinitely better place. And he has some happy news, having just recently announced his engagement to Alizee Thevenet, a glamorous French financial expert he’s been dating for just over a year. He popped the question in the Lake District, a place they went after they first met in 2018. (And they had a very unusual matchmaker – his dog, Ella, who approached the 29-year-old glamorous blonde at London’s South Kensington Club).
In an Instagram post, James revealed, ‘She said oui. Our secret is out, but we couldn’t be happier to share the news.’ And James believes that if he had not sought help for his mental health issues, he would not be celebrating today.
‘ Would I be in this place now? To have fallen in love with her and for her to be my fiancée in essentially the space of a year and a month? Probably not.”
Certainly, when his illness was at its most severe, he was in a very bad way: ‘I couldn’t do anything, I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t read a book, I couldn’t watch a film, I couldn’t eat.. .I was like “What am I meant to do?”’
James related how he was so ill and unhappy, he isolated himself from his friends and particularly his family. ‘The fact is, no matter what experience someone has, your family members are the hardest people to talk to… We are very close. And I think that
can be.. a challenge’ – he said, adding jokingly at times he thinks he behaves like ‘Kevin from Kevin and Perry.’
In the end, it was James’ friends who arrived on his doorstep one morning and refused to go away until he spoke to them. He took himself to a private psychiatric hospital for a consultation, which began his journey to treatment and his road to recovery.
Of course, James must have known he could rely on Kate to be sympathetic when it came to mental illness. Along with Princes William and Harry, Kate is one of the founders of the Heads Together charity initiative, which they started in 2016 as a joint effort, after Kate came up with the idea.
‘It was Catherine who first realised that all three of us were working on mental health in our individual areas of focus.’ said William. ‘She had seen that at the core of adult issues like addiction and family breakdown, unresolved childhood mental health issues were often part of the problem.’
In 2017, Kate recorded a video to launch the Anna
Freud National Centre for Children and Families’ ‘ You’re Never Too Young to Talk Mental Health’ campaign.
‘It helps us to talk about our mental health – what to say and who to talk to when we have feelings that are too big to manage on our own, and how to listen and help if one of our friends is finding things difficult. Sometimes, it’s a simple conversation that can make things better,’ she said.
James was just 13 when his sister Kate started dating Prince William and the experience thrust him into the spotlight. Having been diagnosed with dyslexia and attention deficit disorder, he already admitted feeling ‘ like a square peg trying to fit into society’s round hole’. He struggled academically and, after leaving school, focused attention on his businesses, but some failed to flourish. His love life also came under the spotlight – a five-year, on-off romance with former actress Donna Air ended in 2017.
However, James’ new project, a personalised marshmallow business, Boomf, is now turning a healthy profit, which he described as a ‘great feeling’. So, with a thriving business, a beautiful fiancée, five happy hounds and a sister who is always ready with a listening ear – things are on the up.