Moving in with Mum... (again)!
Spice Girl Mel B has just moved back in with her mum. So, what’s it really like when your (grown up) child returns to the nest? Just ask
Iwas just about to put my feet up and watch a bit of telly when a door slammed upstairs. ‘MUM!’ my son, Josh, shouted. ‘She’s done it again.’
‘Serves you right,’ Emma, my daughter, yelled back.
Then, stamping footsteps. And more door slamming.
I put my hands over my ears and closed my eyes. ‘They’re at it again,’ I moaned to my husband, Derek.
It was like being transported back in time to when they were teenagers… except now, they are grown up – Emma is 37 and Josh is 31 - and they have both moved back home.
It’s not how I expected this year to turn out.
In January, we put our house in Croydon, south London, on the market.
We’ve lived in this threebed semi for 18 years. And the house is packed with memories of family life… raising our three children, watching them grow up – and watching them leave. Tom, who is 35, was the last to go.
After eight years rattling around the place on our own, Derek, who’s an electrician, and I decided it was time to downsize. We looked at some pretty cottages nearer to where Emma lived with our grandson, Luca, four.
We had an offer on the house within four days but it was below the asking price, so I said no.
Sometimes recently, I have wished that I’d accepted that offer…
Because, suddenly, our home is very full again.
Emma’s relationship with her partner has always been a bit up and down. Over the years, she has often mentioned moving back so, if I’m honest, I didn’t take much notice in the summer when she raised the subject.
When she did pin me down and ask me, I said OK. I understood how hard it was for her – after she split up with Luca’s dad – finding the money to rent.
Before I knew what was happening, Emma was coming home.
And the fly in the ointment? So was her brother, Josh… and his dog.
‘I can’t live with that giant dog,’ Emma complained. She’s not a fan of Josh’s German shepherd and his long hair.
But, as I explained to Emma, I couldn’t choose between my children – so if I said yes to her, I had to say yes to Josh.
Emma insisted she needed the two bedrooms upstairs for her and Luca – the second to use as a living room.
That meant Josh had to turn my lovely dining room into a bedroom.
I’m not looking to make money out of my kids, but I did suggest they pay a bit each month to cover the extra cost in utility bills.
Luca has a bath every day, then there is the heating,
‘If there’s one thing I’ve learned’ ‘It might make financial too sense ... but you can be old to live with your mum and dad!’ ‘We have different views on what clean and tidy means!’
hot water, the television, too. Most months there’s an excuse for why they can’t pay.
Emma and I have struggled to get along.
The first few weeks were the worst. Any split takes its toll, and Emma had been through the mill. The only problem was, she took it out on me – her poor old mum.
There are plenty of things we don’t see eye to eye on. But then we are both grown women who should be in charge of our own homes…
Emma and I have very different views on what ‘clean and tidy’ means!
We are cramped and crowded. On top of the noise, we all have to put up with Emma’s non-stop cleaning and Josh’s dog…
Hand on heart, while I love my son, daughter and grandson, it’s not what my husband and I would have chosen in our 60s.