Fiona digs & daggers… ‘The venom & hatred floored me’
After years of self-doubt, presenter Fiona Phillips realised that when people’s ‘talent’ is hating you, just stop listening…
Former GMTV presenter and journalist Fiona Phillips, 59, admitted the impact cruel taunts have had on her – resulting in feelings of ‘pain and insecurity’.
Referring recently to the aftermath of the shocking suicide of former Love Island presenter Caroline Flack last month, the mum-of-two revisited her own dark times when it came to social media.
She says: ‘I recall the first time I read online remarks about myself from trolls in the days when the internet was still relatively new…
‘The venom and hatred completely floored me, led to sleepless nights, self-loathing and a loss of confidence in my ability and even suitability for my high-profile breakfast TV job. I was convinced I was loathsome and that everyone felt the same way.’
Fiona continued, ‘I lost hours of sleep worrying that I wasn’t good enough for the job, which already involved enough sleep deprivation as it was. I started hearing my voice in my own head, thinking it was ugly and annoying (it might well be). And completely ignored the lovely comments that appeared alongside the bile.
‘Self-loathing was my friend. I became my own enemy. The only thing that got me through it all in the end was to stay away from the online mire.’
Always supremely honest, Fiona – who has been extremely open about suffering mental health struggles in the past, admitting at the time that she ‘was a mess’ – went on to explain how she finally found peace with it all, by distancing herself from these ‘sad’ people.
‘It must be awful inhabiting a swamp of hatred – a dank, dark place where a well-meaning stranger on television becomes someone you could happily stab. Ultimately, I took refuge in the fact that the only form of communication sad trolls are familiar with is hatred.’ Fiona is the latest celeb to open up about the extent of online bullying she received – but she surely won’t be the last who has to.
Last year, Little Mix star Jesy Nelson, 28, bravely admitted that abuse from internet trolls affected her mental health in an acclaimed BBC documentary Odd One Out.