I REALLY WISH MY SON WOULD COME OUT

For years, I’ve had my suspicions that my son may be gay – which I am fine with. What I’m struggling with is that he’s not telling me. My daughter has mentioned things that make me think he’s told her the truth, but she wouldn’t tell me, if it was his wish that I don’t know. How do I go about telling him this, without stating the obvious – I don’t want to make him feel any more uncomfortable than he clearly already does… I am a single mum and extremely close to both my children, but it breaks my heart if he feels he can’t tell me things.

Diane, Exeter

I don’t want to be harsh here, but this isn’t about you, is it? It’s about your son – his sexuality, his privacy and when, and if, he feels ready. Don’t take his silence personally. He isn’t trying to exclude or insult you. He is probably just doing his best to work himself out, and making his mind up at his own tempo before, if at all, he feels like discussing very intimate matters with his mum. He loves you. As you say, you are extremely close. Just allow your beloved son to make his own decisions about when he wants to confide in you.