‘We used to row about housework’ ‘Shortly
Louise Lewis, 61, an advanced nurse practitioner, has been married to Steve, 65, a retired civil servant, both from Bradford, for 39 years. They have two grown-up sons. Louise says:
after we married, I arrived home, at about 10pm, to find Steve watching TV.
His first words were: “Have I got a shirt for work tomorrow?”
I said: “Have you ironed one?”
He told me he didn’t know how – his mum had always done it – so I got the ironing board out and showed him.
Ever since that night, he has done his own ironing – and mine, too!
It turned out he didn’t know how to clean a toilet properly, or vacuum right up to the skirting boards either but, instead of just
doing it myself, I showed him, until he got it right.
Of course, there have been rows over the years – he can walk around a pile of dirty washing all day and, when I get annoyed, say: ‘You didn’t tell me to do it’.
I’ve discovered the best solution is to write a list.
My mum didn’t work, but had six children and did all the domestic stuff and there was no way I was signing up for that.
To be fair, Steve never baulked at doing his share. He just doesn’t notice what needs doing.
He retired this year, while I’m still working, so, as is only fair, he does the
bulk of the housework.
Every few weeks, however, I give the house a thorough deep clean, tackling all the areas, like behind the couches, he naturally overlooks.’
Left to my own devices, I’d be happy to adopt the same approach as actor and writer Quentin Crisp, who famously said: “After the first four years, the dirt doesn’t get any worse. It is simply a matter of not losing one’s nerve.”
For matrimonial harmony I’m now willing, if not exactly delighted, to shoulder the burden.’