We three KINGS…
Prince George turned seven last week, but how did those formative early years shape our future King – his father, William, and grandfather, Charles?
Aristotle once said, ‘Give me a child until he is seven, and I will show you the man’. The Greek philosopher’s quote refers to early childhood and how it shapes us. According to our best columnist – addiction, parenting and relationship expert, Mandy Saligari – it is true. Young children don’t yet have a ‘strong frontal cortex response’ – which allows them to rationalise and order things. ‘They are like sponges, soaking up an atmosphere. They pick up what they hear and witness, more than what they’re told. It’s a very interesting age…
So, within the restrictive confines and duties of Royal life, how have George’s first seven years shaped him – and how much do his father and grandfather differ?
PRINCE CHARLES: ‘SENSE OF DUTY PLAYS A BIG
ROLE’ Young Charles had a rather distant relationship with his mother, who was herself raised in a world steeped in Royal tradition. Taught her main focus needed to be on Royal duties, the prince’s early years were often spent in the care of nannies, most notably Mabel Anderson, who Charles himself described as ‘a haven of security, the great haven’.
He also formed a strong and loving bond with his grandmother, the Queen Mum, but his frequently absent father, Prince Philip, was said to try to ‘toughen up’ his sensitive son, when home from the Navy – impacting, later, says Mandy, on ‘his sense of being a good-enough man’.
According to Mandy, as a first-born son, Charles’ selfidentity will have been vastly influenced by his father, while how he relates to the world and his relationships will be influenced by his mother, who clearly instilled in the future heir to the throne a sense of obligation, to both the monarchy and his country.
Unsurprisingly, perhaps, for a man taught duty comes first, Prince Charles went on to marry, many would now say, out of a sense of obligation. He may have been attracted to Camilla, but she wasn’t ‘monarch approved’.
Diana was a granddaughter of the Queen’s lady-in-waiting, Lady Ruth Fermoy, and, at 19, had never had a serious relationship. To the Queen, it would have been important that there would be no scandal surrounding her son’s future bride. ‘Charles chose a Queen in Diana,’ says Mandy. ‘But there was a lack of intimacy. He didn’t know how to have that relationship, he was prioritising monarchy which, as a child, is what he had seen his mother do. Sense of duty has a huge part to play in his own parenting.’
PRINCE WILLIAM: ‘HE MAY STRUGGLE WITH SELF-CARE...’
William was 14 when his parents divorced, and 15 when he suffered the tragedy of his mother Diana’s untimely death – both major traumas. But there was plenty in his early years that will have also impacted the future King.
Diana and Charles’ marriage was deeply unhappy – something he will have absorbed. There was his father’s dutiful approach (Charles famously went to
the opera while William was undergoing surgery for a fractured skull in June 1991), and his mother’s unhappiness caused by a marriage breaking down, restrictions placed upon her by Royal life and the extreme press attention she attracted.
According to Mandy, sensing his mother’s unhappiness would have meant William’s identity was likely ‘to become placating, in an effort to please… adopting a role as a very devoted father, husband and monarch from an early age – but this means he may now struggle with self-care. He is set up to neglect himself in favour of others.’
Diana often organised fun activities for her sons and both have spoken warmly of being taken to fast-food restaurants, theme parks shows and seaside holidays. But according to Mandy, that is also a double-edged sword: ‘Yes, she introduced her boys to a wider world, important in terms of perspective, and William and his brother seem to have taken that in. But Diana –who had self-esteem issues (including an eating disorder) – may well have subconsciously set them up to be her prop and protector – they had to be happy for her. This sense of duty and protection could have set them up to struggle with their own needs.’
The William of today seems mindful and proactive about the impact on a person of their upbringing
– allowing him to be more measured with his own children – so perhaps, all he has learnt has made him a more balanced, caring, individual with a sense of duty. A perfect monarch.
And William is protective of his own wife and children, ‘very care-taking’ according to Mandy. So will he, too, be happy to keep Prince George at home for as long as possible, rather than send him to boarding school? Only time will tell...
PRINCE GEORGE: ‘A NEW GENERATION OF ROYAL’
This handsome young boy, with a mischievous glint in his eye, is the son of two very modern Royal parents. Catherine Middleton and Prince William seem, at present, determined to enjoy a close relationship with all their children. In fact, despite William and Harry being happy at Ludgrove prep school from the age of eight, it is thought they might break from tradition, and not send George to boarding school.
‘They don’t appear to be conforming with the system,’ says Mandy, ‘and as our perception of the monarchy changes, they’re also changing – they’re not saying, “This is what is done’– they’re saying, “This is how we want to parent”. George will be the product of two parents, rather than a system.
‘George is set up to have a happy, more balanced life… In William, he has a very human, thoughtful accessible larder to access when it comes to what ingredients it takes to be a good enough man – and in Kate, the example of what it’s like to be in the world, what skills he needs.
‘If Mum, Kate, treats George with respect, and she seems to, he’ll learn relational lessons that will absolutely set him up to be in good self-esteem. George could well represent the first generation of Royals with the right balance.’
Blond, cute and knowing, Prince George will always have a special place in our hearts. And over the years, George
– a ‘little monkey’ who ‘rules the roost’, according to his dad, Prince William – has made waves with his boyish charm. They say a picture speaks a thousand words, and with his engaging personality shining through each one of them, nothing could be more true for the boy who will be king. To mark this latest milestone, we take a look back at every year since his birth.