Tamzin Outhwaite: ‘Mr Forever? I’m not looking, but who knows…’
Blonde and bubbly, Tamzin Outhwaite explains her new approach to love, her big birthday, and her thoughts on an encroaching menopause…
Actress Tamzin Outhwaite, whose second and last stint in EastEnders, as husky-voiced Mel Owen ended last July, is warm, open and funny as she chats to best about her partner, Tom, 21 years her junior, and Marnie, eight, and Florence,
12, her daughters with ex-husband, Lucifer star Tom Ellis, who she divorced in 2014. Tamzin’s theatre show TheSeagull may have been cut short due to Covid-19, but during lockdown at her north London home, she was busy filming Dun Breedin’ – a YouTube series about women in a menopause support group. The attractive 49-year-old – who is ‘joined’ by pals Julie Graham, Angela Griffin, Tracy-Ann Oberman and Denise Welch – plays Indie, a free spirit, not dissimilar to herself. Here, she chats about her man, and how she truly feels about turning 50…
How are things, Tamzin?
Good. Positivity breeds positivity, I’ve learned that recently. I was worried at one stage I was going to come out of lockdown a chubby alcoholic, but I kicked the booze and got my head together. It’s okay to say ‘to hell with it’ now and again, but not all the time – it’ll get you into some dark places! All I need to do now is get my exercise regime 100 per cent back on track, as that had gone slightly out the window…
How have Marnie and Florence held up?
Not bad now, but during lockdown we had tantrums and tears! I would definitely swing from desperately wanting to be on my own, to looking at them, and thinking, ‘I’m so in love with you both!’ Chuck 12-year-old hormones and me being perimenopausal into that equation… I think poor Tom was just hoping the house wouldn’t explode!
Oh dear – so, menopause is on the horizon?
I don’t know, I do need to get checked out – but in these Covid times, it feels a little selfish to go. That’s ridiculous, of course – it’s your duty to look after yourself. My mum, Anna, always said her menopause was pretty non-existent. She said she got ‘a bit angry’ for a bit, but then sailed through it. I’m hoping, genetically, that’s what will happen to me.
Could this also simply be down to the stress of recent months?
Who knows?! My dad, who is 74, lives at the end of my
garden in a little cabin we built for him. He isn’t well, he’s on the vulnerable list... he comes out every day, though, plays board games with the kids. But I do worry about him, so it’s possibly just the effect of trying to keep it all together.
Tell us about menopause comedy DunBreedin’ – the series you filmed in lockdown…
I’ve never seen anything like it on telly. GoldenGirls is the closest thing, and they’re a generation older. My friend, the actress Julie Graham, came up with the idea, and I love how unashamed they are – how these women speak to each other is quite something. They’re funny, smart and sexy. Doing it gave my days structure. My partner, Tom, shot my scenes in our house, he was basically my DOP [director of photography]!
So tell us about Tom – you seem to have survived lockdown!
Yes! I think it sealed or destroyed a lot of relationships, but we’ve done really well. We’re in each other’s pockets all the time – I’m impressed that we still really love each other! The only time it’s been challenging, is when we’ve been working together because we’re both ‘natural leaders’, let’s just say! But they were only ever little tussles.
You’ve been together a while now. Are you still asked about the age gap?
Three years in October. People are genuinely intrigued, so I don’t mind. At first, we didn’t necessarily expect this to be a long-term relationship. I’m of the belief now that I’m not looking for Mr Forever – ever! Yes, I’m having a lovely time. I’ve got my kids. I’m not going to break up with somebody I love because of the age gap. But if he ever wanted children, I’d give him my blessing to go off and do that.
Are perceptions slowly changing, then?
I hope so. I get lots of people messaging me on Instagram and Twitter – saying they’re with someone younger too, and it’s lovely that I’m highlighting that there’s nothing ‘seedy’ or cougar-y about it. Hopefully, a woman who happens to be in a relationship with a younger man is becoming more ‘normal’. Maybe this crisis will teach us to live and let live – as long as two people are happy, that’s all that matters.
All episodes of Dun Breedin’ are available to watch on YouTube.