‘I lost SIX stone! Now it’s my time to shine’
Pauline Smith has always wanted to help people, and now she’s lost 6st, she finally has the confidence to do it…
Walking out of college to where my husband, Colin, was waiting to pick me up, I felt a spring in my step. I was passionate about the therapeutic counselling course I was taking. I was in my third year of study and, despite it being a cause that had been close to my heart for many years, I would never have had the energy or confidence to fulfil this dream before…
I needed to tackle my own low self-esteem – and the root of that was my weight.
Growing up, I was chubbier than my two sisters, which I never understood as we all ate the same: three healthy meals prepared by our mum and, in those days, there was no snacking. Occasionally, we were allowed sweets, but that was a real treat.
By the time I left school, I was around a size 16. Not too bad for my 5ft 4in height, but I was always conscious of my weight. I’d wanted to – and was encouraged to – attend the London School of Fashion – a real passion of mine – but in the end, I decided against it.
Twiggy and Mary Quant were all the rage back then and I couldn’t have been further from their willowy physiques. I know now, that my decision was partly based on my lack of confidence.
Still, when a friend introduced me to Colin when I was 18, he didn’t care what size or shape I was. He was lovely, quietly supportive, and I knew I’d found my partner for life. We married two years later, and I wore a high-neck, empire line dress made by a friend. I’d tried a few fad diets, like the lemon juice diet, but nothing was sustainable.
Colin and I were so happy when I soon fell pregnant, and I was careful to eat sensibly to keep our baby safe. I was diagnosed early on with preeclampsia, and was in and out of hospital and told I needed complete bed rest. I was utterly heartbroken when our son, Christian, died at birth. We couldn’t make sense of it, and I didn’t know what to do with my crushing grief.
There was no support that we knew of back then, but a midwife came to our house. ‘Make sure you spoil her,’ she told Colin, nodding at me. It was early days and I remember Colin getting fish and chips for us as a treat. Regardless of how much I ate, nothing filled the aching emptiness I felt.
Then, three years later, my beautiful sister, Susan, died aged just 21. The grief was unbearable, and again,
I turned to food for comfort.
I tried to support my heartbroken mum and sister as best I could, but it was a tough time. Especially when my mum later passed away too.
My weight continued to creep up and by the time I had my daughters, Rebecca and Rachel, I was more than 15st. But I didn’t mind. I loved being a mum to our girls and my focus was on taking care of them.
I cooked delicious meals and never dreamed of buying processed food. Then, in around 2006, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure.
A bit of a shock, but I took my medication as advised. A couple of years later, after suffering relentless tummy troubles, I was diagnosed with Coeliac Disease too.
It was a relief to know what was causing my symptoms, and as soon as I discovered all the gluten-free foods I could eat, I piled on yet more weight.
Then, in 2013, a friend popped over for a coffee and she looked great. ‘I’ve joined Slimming World,’ she told me. I could see a difference in her every week – weight loss and confidence.
So, in January 2014, Colin dropped me off at my first Slimming World meeting near our home in March, Cambridgeshire. I was embarrassed when I was a size 24 and weighed in at 17st 8lbs, but I was determined.
I quickly learned about Food Optimising and tweaked the way I cooked, using Frylight, low-fat cheese and Quark. I was surprised at how much delicious food I could still eat.
In my first week, I lost 8lbs. ‘ Wonderful,’ Colin said.
I wrote a shopping list each week, planned my meals and the weight slowly came off. Within
‘One lesson I’d learnt was that food didn’t really give me comfort’
months I had more energy and the support I received from the group was invaluable. I even found a Slimming World Coeliac support group online! By April 2015, I was down to my target weight of 11st 3lbs and a size 12-14.
‘I feel like a different person,’ I told friends.
And I was a different person – one lesson I’d learnt was that food didn’t really give me comfort. I couldn’t eat my way out of grief.
In fact, that’s what pushed me to become a counsellor.
After losing my son, sister and mother, I’d yearned for someone impartial to speak to. There weren’t many counsellors available in those days that I knew of. And perhaps, if I had had a professional to talk to I might not have turned to food and eaten my emotions so often.
I’d always wanted to be a counsellor but before I lost weight I wasn’t sure I’d have been able to keep up with the training, let alone had the confidence or self-belief to be able to support others.
But now, at 69, after losing 6st – and learning to keep it off – I’ve finally found myself.
I hope my story might inspire others to start their weight loss journey and my dream now is to be a theraputic counsellor.
Slimming World is returning step-by-step to its real-life groups, with a few changes to keep everyone safe and reassured. Please contact your local Consultant to book in before going to a group, or to find out about joining one of its temporary virtual groups. You can find your nearest group at slimmingworld.co.uk or by calling 0344 897 8000.