One couple, two chances to save a life…
Terri Herrington’s husband, Bryan, saved four people’s lives after he lost his – and she was able to save one of them again, while still alive…
Filling out the form for my new driver’s licence, I smiled at my new name. Mrs Terri Herrington. I’d just married my beloved husband, Bryan, in September 1995 and we were still in our honeymoon phase, totally besotted with one another.
Looking at the box for organ donation, I asked Bryan whether he was on the national register. ‘I don’t think so, but I want to be,’ he replied thoughtfully.
We chatted about how important it was to give someone life after death, and both decided to tick the box to become organ donors.
Thinking nothing more of it, I sent off the forms and Bryan and I began our life as a married couple. We had our son, Drake, now 21, in June 1999 and then Payton, now 16, in May 2004.
Shortly afterwards, on 13 July 2004, Bryan’s decision to become an organ donor suddenly became a very important one. Because, at just 35, Bryan, a roofer, fell from a house he was working on, hitting his head in the fall.
I didn’t know how serious it was until I reached Sacred Heart Healthcare Hospital, Florida, US.
When I arrived, he was lying still in a hospital bed, his eyes closed. Doctors did everything they could, but his injuries were too serious. He was brain dead and wouldn’t recover.
‘How can this be happening? What will we do without him?’ I sobbed. I’d barely had time to take the news in when a doctor approached me.
‘I’m sorry to have to ask, Mrs Herrington, but do you know how your husband felt about organ donation?’ he asked gently.
Despite my grief, I nodded, grateful that we’d had the conversation all those years ago.
‘ Yes, he’d do it,’ I said, fighting back tears. ‘That’s exactly what he would want.’
In his last moments, I sat and spoke to Bryan, promising him I’d look after our children and speak about him all the time. It was horrible, talking to my husband who’d always had so much to say but was now deafeningly silent.
After giving him a final kiss goodbye, the doctors turned off his life support and wheeled him to the operating room for the donation of his organs.
As a mum of two young children, then aged just five and two months, I was shattered. Even finding time to grieve felt impossible.
The only thing that pulled me through the days, was knowing that Bryan lived on in the people whose lives he’d saved.
For a year, the boys and I muddled through, trying to adjust to life without Bryan.
In 2005, I decided to
write to the four recipients of my husband’s kidney and pancreas, heart, lungs and liver, filling my letters with details of Drake and Payton’s incredible father, telling them about his love of being active, and what a giving man he’d been. It gave me comfort that some good came from his tragic death.
Three of the recipients replied. One of them was Jeff Granger, 59, who’d received Bryan’s pancreas and kidney.
He lived just three hours away in Wacissa, Florida, and called me almost immediately on the number I’d left at the bottom of my letter.
We clicked right away, and Jeff told me about his love for camping and fishing – things he could finally enjoy again with his wife, Pam, thanks to Bryan’s donation.
We started speaking more, and I invited Jeff and Pam to our home in Pensacola, Florida, so we could meet.
‘ We wanted to give you this, to say thank you,’ Pam smiled, gifting me a necklace.
After their first visit, we saw them regularly, always talking about Bryan and becoming great friends, even though we had been brought together through unusual circumstances.
On one of their visits, Payton, just a toddler at the time, put his hand on Jeff’s stomach. ‘My dad’s inside there,’ he smiled.
‘Sure is, and I’m going keep him alive as long as I can,’ Jeff replied.
Although sad, I realised how lucky we were to have Jeff in our lives. As the boys grew up, our relationship with Jeff and Pam grew stronger. They didn’t have any children, so Jeff doted on Drake and Payton like his own.
One afternoon in January 2019, I received a call from
Jeff. ‘My kidney has failed,’ he said. ‘Bryan’s kidney. I’m back on dialysis.’
He was devastated but tried to sound strong, so as not to upset me. He said he’d been unsure about telling me but knew he couldn’t keep it a secret.
‘Maybe I could donate a kidney to you,’ I suggested. ‘Don’t be silly,’ Jeff laughed, telling me he wouldn’t hear another word about it.
But a month later, Jeff posted on Facebook, saying he was in search of a donor. ‘I wasn’t kidding,’ I posted underneath.
After a phone call reiterating my offer, Jeff finally took it seriously, and we underwent tests to establish whether I was compatible.
In October 2019, the test results confirmed that I was. I couldn’t believe both Bryan and I were able to help Jeff – it felt like fate.
On 3 March 2020, Jeff and I arrived at University of Florida College of Medicine, for the operations.
‘ You don’t have to do this,’ he told me for the millionth time. ‘I want to,’ I replied, hugging him.
I woke up a few hours later to learn the operation had been a success and, shortly after, I was visited by Jeff wearing his hospital gown, and a beaming smile. ‘I feel like a new man already,’ he said.
After months of illness and exhaustion, he was able to walk again, and handed me another necklace engraved with the words ‘Thank You’. It was an unforgettable moment. Becoming a living donor is one of the best decisions I’ve made, and being able to see the difference in Jeff is the best gift I could ask for.
I hope Bryan would be proud of me if he could see mine and Jeff’s friendship – but deep down, I know that he is.
‘Some good came from his tragic death’