Lockdown adulterers
The pandemic may have put a strain on relationships up and down the country, but what does that mean for those having affairs…
Coronavirus has put so many restrictions on our lives. Many of us can’t see parents, sisters, friends and… lovers.
With the vaccine roll-out being hailed a success, most hope that immunisation will bring some reassurance and a return to everyday normality – seeing people back in the shops or the office, but others have slightly different reasons for wanting the vaccination…
A survey of 1,500 of its users was carried out by the UK’s leading extra-marital affairs site, Illicit Encounters. When asked, other than for protection, what the respondents’ main reason for
wanting the vaccine was, a shocking 65 per cent of them said it was so they could have an affair.
One such person is 50-year-old Katherine, from Lancashire. After going through a divorce, she tried conventional dating but said she found single men too needy. She heard of IllictEncounters.com two years ago and has been dating married men ever since.
‘Last Summer I was able to go on lots of dates with married men when the virus was under control,’ she says. ‘In the second lockdown I met a married man named John* and because I live alone, we were able to meet up and have sex as part of his “support bubble”, meaning we weren’t breaking any rules.’
She goes on to say: ‘The support bubble initiative meant we could have an affair safely. Unfortunately, we had to stop dating when John’s wife became suspicious of him spending so much time doing ‘exercise’ outdoors.’
The pandemic is thought to have put a strain on relationships around the world with routines changing, spending more time at home and having additional – or different – day-to-day stresses and fewer outlets.
Although we don’t know in what specific ways, a whopping 82 per cent of those surveyed by Illicit Encounters agreed that their relationship with their spouse had suffered due to the Coronavirus restrictions.
Jessica Leoni, sex and relationship expert at IllictEncounters.com agrees. ‘Relationships have taken a beating since all the lockdown and restrictions have come into force due to Covid,’ she says. ‘Many of our members feel the pressure of married life has been amplified due to the pandemic and are desperate to enjoy some adult fun with like-minded people.’
Katherine is clear that it’s not a fully committed relationship that she’s after, but some fun…
‘I’m not looking for a second husband,’ she says. ‘I just want to have no-strings fun, but everybody is too scared of the virus to meet up. Those who aren’t scared have wives who are keeping tabs on their whereabouts.’
That fear of going out and meeting up is understandable – and very real – given that, to date, 4.1 million cases of Coronavirus have been reported in the UK and 121,000 people have lost their lives because of it. Worldwide, the numbers are just as shocking, with Covid-19 causing more than two million deaths.
‘As soon as the vaccine becomes available to me, I can’t wait to meet someone new. I’m craving intimacy and affection, the lockdowns are really tough on your own,’ Katherine says.
Her feelings of loneliness in lockdown aren’t unique. Much has been written about the effect this can have on your mental health and charities offer advice on what to do if you’re feeling lonely, isolated and don’t live with anyone else.
But risking lives and infection for illicit sex won’t have many people feeling any sympathy.
Katherine is clear that it’s the physical interaction she misses. ‘I love the excitement and spontaneity of an affair, it’s a thrill,’ she says. ‘It’s still meaningful sex, but without all the relationship baggage, you have a boyfriend for the day then you can return to sender.’
According to research carried out by YouGov in 2015, one in five British adults said they’d had an affair and 33 per cent admitted they’d thought about cheating. The same research indicated men are more likely to have affairs with work colleagues, while women were more likely to be adulterous with friends.
‘Married men are more respectful and generous than single men,’ Katherine says. ‘I always feel that I’m treated like a queen. I’m feeling hopeless and alone right now. I’m desperate to get the Covid vaccine so that I can go out again – and enjoy myself again.’
The Illicit Encounters survey did find reasons other than protection and affairs that its users wanted the vaccine for. Apparently, 17 per cent said they wanted restrictions to ease so they could go to bars and restaurant, eight per cent said they wished they’d been immunised so they could see family and friends and four per cent said they’d like it so they could enjoy a holiday. Those wishes may be possible sooner rather than later.
But to have an affair was still the highest-ranking answer. ‘With vaccines underway, it appears many people wish to hold out before meeting – so that they can have responsible and safe affairs,’ Jessica Leoni says.
When respondents were quizzed on how many had broken restriction rules in the first and second lockdowns, 61 per said they had, compared to 30 per cent in this third national lockdown.
Who knows when things will truly feel back to ‘normal’? Let’s hope the immunisations continue – for the health and safety of Brits – not to carry out affairs.
65 per cent said they want the vaccine so they can have an affair