A family at last! Thanks to two strangers
After a terrifying cancer experience, Kreena Dhiman feared she’d never have kids – but, thanks to two lovely ladies, she is now a mum of four…
As I laid my tiny triplets on the living room carpet, they all snuffled contentedly. I drank in their silkysmooth faces, their tiny hands poking out of their babygros. Then, I looked up to see my little girl, Amaala, now two, cuddling into my husband, Satty. My family…
Before I knew it, I was sobbing uncontrollably. ‘ What’s wrong?’ Satty, now 42, asked, concerned. ‘I can’t believe we’re all here, under the same roof,’ I croaked, through my tears.
Our road to parenthood had been a tough one and even now, I have to pinch myself at how lucky we are to have four happy, healthy children.
It started in August 2013, when I was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer, aged 33. My whole future was suddenly uncertain.
And doctors dealt me a further blow when they advised that the treatment would likely leave me infertile.
Ever since Satty and I had married in 2010, we’d talked about having children. ‘Can we delay the treatment to have IVF?’ I asked, and the consultant agreed.
It was physically and emotionally gruelling, but we ended up with 11 embryos to freeze. It was daunting. I’d created those little lives but didn’t know if I’d survive to see them born.
Then it was time to start my treatment. I had chemotherapy, radiotherapy and a mastectomy. Coming from the South Asian community, we traditionally don’t talk about matters like this. The pressure was overwhelming. Even my mum never saw my bald head and, in a bid to protect her, I wouldn’t let her come to my hospital appointments.
But finally, in early 2015,
I was told I was in remission.
‘ What about children?’
I asked the doctors. They were hesitant. My cancer was driven by hormones and falling pregnant could increase the chances of it coming back.
I reluctantly agreed. I couldn’t bring a baby into the world, knowing that by carrying them, I’d risk not being there to bring them up.
It stung, but I had to be practical.
I went online and found a huge surrogacy community. Women who, for a variety of reasons, couldn’t carry their babies and other, incredible, women who were willing to help them become mums.
In August 2016, Ina, now 39,
a mum-of-two in a relationship, from Bath, got in touch. She’d always wanted to help create a family for someone else. The timing couldn’t have been worse – I’d suffered a rare reaction to chemo and was back in hospital, extremely ill.
‘ We can still talk, though,’ she suggested. ‘For when you get better?’ We started messaging every day and her hope pulled me through.
A year later, one of my embryos was transferred and she became pregnant. We were overjoyed. I couldn’t have asked for a more wonderful surrogate. I went to the scans, Ina sent me videos of the baby kicking and on Mother’s Day, she sent me a picture of her bump painted with a sign that said, ‘Hello Mummy’.
When Amaala was born on 27 April 2018, she was handed straight to me. ‘Beautiful,’ I gasped. I’d never have given up the responsibility of carrying my baby if I’d had a choice, but, given the circumstances, it couldn’t have been more perfect.
That night, in Ina’s room, we had pizza and Champagne to celebrate the end of an extraordinary journey together. ‘Keep in touch,’ I urged Ina when we were ready to leave.
At home, Amaala was perfect. She slept well and was content. Within a few months, we knew we wanted another baby.
But it wasn’t going to be easy. Our remaining embryos had perished after being defrosted, which was devastating, so I had to find an egg donor.
Another battle.
‘How much more can we go through?’ I cried to Satty on my low days. But I refused to give up and I found a lovely egg donor, who I got to meet.
We spoke to Ina but sadly, her circumstances had changed. I admit, it was a blow.
‘I found Ina on the surrogacy forums,’ I told Satty determinedly. ‘I’m sure I’ll find someone else just as amazing.’
And I did. In September 2019, a mutual friend introduced me to Laura, now 37, a mum of two and, in February 2020, two embryos were transferred into her, which meant there was a higher chance of success – and the possibility of twins.
Five days later, Laura sent a photo of a positive pregnancy test. And just a few weeks later, she called our home in Crawley, West Sussex. ‘Are you sitting down?’ she asked. ‘ Why?’ I worried. ‘ You’re having triplets,’ she exclaimed. ‘One of the eggs split!’
Triplets? Our family was going to double!
Because of my medical history, I had to shield through the pandemic, so we FaceTimed and Laura sent audios of the baby’s heartbeats – though I went to the 20-week scan.
She went into premature labour at 30 weeks on 23 August last year and the babies were born safely by emergency caesarean. We had to have Covid tests and wait an agonising 12 hours before being allowed to meet our three sons, Aanav, Arvaarn and Anaayan, each weighing 3lbs.
They were so premature, they had to stay in the NICU for eight weeks until they were strong enough to come home on 14 October 2020.
Now I’m 41, and life with four kids under three is exhausting but wonderful. Amaala is an incredible big sister and copies everything I do with them, a real mother hen. ‘ Where are my brothers?’ is the first thing she asks every morning.
And the triplets are adorable. Aanav has just come off oxygen and never stops smiling. And Arvaarn and Anaayan are especially close, they always end up holding hands.
Along the way, I thought I’d break because of the pain and heartache but my four children were worth every second of it.
Ina came to Amaala’s first birthday party, and I can’t wait for Laura to visit when restrictions are lifted. I’ll always be honest with the children as to how they came into the world – and be grateful for those two amazing women. Without them, our family wouldn’t exist.
● Kreena is supporting The Royal Marsden Cancer Charity’s appeal for a new research and treatment facility, the Oak Cancer Centre. For info, visit royalmarsden.org/appeal