Sarah Harding: My life, my way – Facing our own mortality is not something we often consider
After being diagnosed with breast cancer during lockdown, singer Sarah Harding has heartbreakingly revealed that Christmas just gone was likely her last…
‘At the moment, I’m just grateful to wake up every day and live my best life, because I know how precious it is’, says Sarah Harding – and nobody knows the truth of those words more than she.
For the party-loving blonde of disbanded pop group Girls Aloud has learned, age 39, that she may not have long to live.
The cancer-striken singer has revealed in new book Hear Me Out (published by Ebury last Thursday), that doctors treating her advanced breast cancer told her she may only have ‘months left to live’. Her doctor told her last December that the upcoming Christmas ‘would probably be my last’.
She revealed in excerpts published in The Times that she was initially reluctant to seek help after finding a worrying lump, due to the pandemic.
It proved a fatal mistake, one she is now desperate to prevent others from making.
The star also revealed her cancer has now spread to her spine and possibly her brain.
Sarah admitted that she did wonder whether she wanted everyone to know about her health battle – but decided that, if her story could help someone else get checked in time, then it would be worth doing.
Talking about her symptoms, the star – who had been staying at her mum’s during lockdown, revealed she’d initially dismissed the lump as a ‘cyst’ – before realising she was ‘in denial’.
In the beginning, Sarah explained, she thought she had a cyst, as she’d been playing the guitar and the strap might have irritated the area – but the pain grew intense. The star explained that it got to the point where it stopped her sleeping in her bed, she was taking painkillers as if they were ‘Smarties’ – and her skin was starting to bruise.
By the time Sarah realised she had to stop using the pandemic as an excuse not to seek medical help, she was diagnosed with breast cancer, which she revealed in a devastating Instagram post last August: ‘There’s no easy way to say this and actually it doesn’t even feel real writing this, but here goes. ‘Earlier this year I was diagnosed with breast cancer and a couple of weeks ago I received the devastating news that the cancer has advanced to other parts of my body. ‘I’m currently undergoing
weekly chemotherapy sessions and I am fighting as hard as I possibly can,’ she posted.
Reflecting on that devastating diagnosis in her book, she said, ‘Being faced with your own mortality is not something you ever consider…’
As Sarah revealed in a recent Instagram post, she called her memoir Hear Me Out as it’s the title of a song she wrote on the second Girls Aloud album and ‘I’ve always really loved it’.
She continued, ‘The lyrics have always meant a lot to me. It’s been lovely revisiting our songs, looking back over photos and writing down memories from my last 39 years.’
In her book, Sarah also reveals she almost died of sepsis and was placed in a coma for two weeks, prior to chemotherapy and a mastectomy (waking up from that operation ‘was one of the worst moments of my life’).
As part of one of Britain’s biggest girl bands in the Noughties, alongside Cheryl Cole, Kimberley Walsh, Nicola Roberts and Nadine Coyle, party-loving Sarah was dubbed the nation’s ‘most glamorous hell-raiser’ by the press.
And blonde beauty Sarah was named Hardcore Harding’ persona that the star admitted was a distorted exaggeration of the real her, which ‘I helped create, as a way of fitting in’.
Her old bandmates have spoken of disbelief and heartache over the news.
Cheryl, 37, admitted she ‘lost it’ hearing the ‘terrible news’ over FaceTime with Sarah.
‘Mostly, I try to keep my own emotions in check, but on one FaceTime call with her the other day, I couldn’t hold it in. She relayed some terrible news, and I lost it and started crying.’
Showing incredible strength, it was Sarah who comforted Newcastle-born star Cheryl, as she was overcome with emotion.
As Cheryl commented: ‘The mad thing is, it ended up with Sarah comforting me.’
As well as a stark warning to others never to ignore any symptoms, Sarah said she wanted to close the space between her public persona and the girl she truly was.
‘It feels like this is my chance to show the real me. Somewhere between the nightclubs, hairdos and hits, the “other” Sarah Harding got lost.’
Going public with her diagnosis last summer, she revealed, was something she was incredibly nervous about – but she needn’t have been. The outpouring of support
‘Being faced with your own mortality is not something you ever consider’
when she did finally go public, she admitted, ‘was overwhelming’.
Adding, ‘It means so much to me and my mum.’
In yet another heartbreaking detail, Sarah is refusing radiotherapy treatment on her skull for a secondary tumour, as she does not want to lose her hair – with no health guarantees at the end of it.
But there was promising news, too. In her book, Sarah also revealed that at the end of December, the tumours in her brain and lungs had shrunk with the treatment. ‘Right now every little victory feels monumentous,’ she shared.
And for now, Sarah is trying to find joy however she can, ideally with family and friends.
‘I’d like to see everyone I know one last time and have a big f***-off party as a way to say thank you and goodbye. Wouldn’t that be amazing?’
‘The other Sarah is still in there somewhere, wanting to come back with vengeance and dancing on tables.’
We send all our love.
Keep fighting, Sarah.