A reality show too far?
A new show sets up strangers who want a baby – and no relationship. But who is thinking about the child…
It started with First Dates, then along came Married at First Sight, but just when you thought reality shows couldn’t go any further, Channel 4 has dreamed up Strangers Making Babies.
Yes, that’s right. A programme that will match people who have never met to have a child together. OK…
Starting a family is, of course, traditionally the domain of a loving couple who decide that adding to their numbers is the next stage in their relationship.
Co-parenting in itself is nothing new – anyone who has been separated or divorced will understand the concept of raising a child together in two different households.
But deliberate co-parenting is a far more recent idea. One where neither partner wants a romantic relationship with the other person, just to start a family with them.
It is a trend that is gaining momentum online, where an estimated 70,000 people are taking to forums and websites to find a platonic partner to co-parent with.
In its four-part show, Channel 4 claims it is just building on this idea – and making it safer for all involved.
After being matched by both a professional from the online dating industry and from the fertility sector, the paired couple go on several meetings. Starting with drinks, they then meet the other’s family, before spending a weekend together.
If only all things in life could be so easy…
The three women involved – Trinity, 40, from Essex, Venicia, 34, from Croydon, and Sarah 39, from Surrey – all have different reasons for getting involved, as do the men – Nigel, Vic and Jean-Paul.
Jean-Paul, at 50, already has teenage sons, but has always wanted more children. He sees this as the perfect way to do that: ‘Romance is lovely but it has a way of making people lose their minds. In this process, they are thinking clearly.’
And their first meetings show just how different their situation is from a first date. Rather than flirting over frivolous conversations, these pairs launch into discussing who’ll stay at home with the baby and who’ll go back to work.
‘There are similarities to a blind date,’ says Trinity. ‘ You are getting to know the other person, assessing if you get on.
‘But with dating, there are ground rules. You build up to talking about whether the other person wants kids. You don’t do it on a first date.
‘This was the opposite: we were here to talk specifically about having a child together.’
But with all of this focus on the prospective parents, it seems like the babies themselves are being lost along the way. How will their upbringing – and indeed, their whole lives – be affected by coming into the world in this rather unusual way?
‘US studies show that co-operative co-parenting arrangements like this have much less benefit for children than most people assume,’ said Harry Benson, research director of the Marriage Foundation. ‘This programme appears to be treating children as secondary consumer goods rather than as the product of a loving relationship.
‘UK and US evidence shows that children tend to fare best with both parents under one roof. That’s most likely to happen if the parents are married.’
A breeding ground for disaster or the perfect way to bring the pitter-patter of tiny feet into the world? We guess only time will tell…
‘Romance can make people lose their minds’