How to finally beat the bulge!
Susanne Coles spent her whole life gaining, then losing weight… until now!
If I’m honest, all of my life, I’ve been a yo-yo dieter and my relationship with food hasn’t been great. Until, I am proud to say, now. At 5ft 6in, a size 12 and 11st 5lbs, I am finally happy with my body and how I feel about it.
It started when I was a teenager. From being three years old, I’d been a dancer, doing everything from street to ballet, and when I first went to Ibiza aged 17, I felt amazing, sunning myself by the pool or dancing away the nights, as a size eight.
But when I returned to the holiday resort just a year later, I’d put on five dress sizes, taking me up to a size 18. Looking back, it’s easy to see my weight gain was a combination of giving up dancing and working shifts in a call centre, grabbing burgers on my way home at 10pm. But at the time, I was having too much fun going out with friends, drinking blue WKDs and enjoying life, to worry about a number on the scales or on the tag in my clothes.
Rather than doing anything about it, I just continued to buy new clothes, barely noticing they were the next size up. And when I fell pregnant with my son, Daniel, at 20, I was so big, you could hardly tell I was expecting.
After I had my second child, Rebecca, in 2008, I’d reached 19st 7lbs, a size 24.
Looking at a photograph with my newborn, there was barely any definition between my neck and my face. It hit me, I had to do something. I managed to lose 3st with one slimming group, but the lessons didn’t stick. As soon as I stopped going, I slipped back into my old habits and piled it all back on.
Then, in 2011, I joined Slimming World and lost 5st, eating healthier and going to the gym. As a size 10, I was slimmer than I’d been in years and felt fantastic.
I’d broken up with my partner and met Gary in
February 2012 at a nightclub. After we clunked heads when he was trying to ask what I wanted to drink, we were inseparable.
I fell pregnant with twins, Thomas and Harry, but even then, I kept my weight under control and when I wed Gary, in October 2014, I was the same size.
However, when I had Bobby, my youngest, in October 2015, everything fell apart. It wasn’t even baby weight – the only thing I’d craved through my pregnancy were lettuces and cucumbers – but, looking after three young children and a newborn, as well as working in a supermarket, my eating habits became worse than ever.
I’d have toast for breakfast, followed by crisps and chocolate, and then continue snacking on bread until lunchtime, when I’d have a sandwich, another bag of crisps and another bar of chocolate. Then, I’d munch on biscuits to get me through the afternoon and, by the time Gary came home, I’d feel so full – and guilty – that I wouldn’t eat any of the healthy dinner I’d prepare for him and the kids.
‘I don’t fancy anything now,’ I’d tell him as I served up. But by 8pm, I’d sneak into the kitchen, starving, and scoff tubes of Pringles, sweets and chocolates bars, hiding the packets in my pockets, so he wouldn’t see them in the bin.
At 18st 9lbs and a size 20, I was creeping back up to the biggest I’d ever been and I was so angry and frustrated with myself for making the same mistakes again.
‘I’m re-joining the gym,’ I said determinedly to Gary in March 2016. And it really made a difference. As soon as I was exercising, I didn’t want to undo my good work by eating unhealthy food. It was a complete change of mindset.
So I returned to Slimming World in April and was delighted to see, at 17st,
I’d already lost nearly 2st. And having the support of the group, I knew I’d done the right thing. They congratulated me when I lost 8lbs in my first week and helped pick me up when I had a week where I’d put on.
I went back to planning my meals and making sure I knew what I was going to eat through the week. By the end of 2018, I was down to 11st. This time it had taken longer but that’s because
I wasn’t just losing weight –
I was changing lifelong habits.
And, yes,
I’ve put on a couple of pounds in lockdown but it’s stayed at that. Just a couple of pounds. Not a couple of stone – or even more. And I’m more than happy with that.
I can have chocolate and not feel guilty, or have it plunge me into weeks of eating badly. It’s a one-off treat.
My whole life has changed. I can run around with my children, I wore a bikini on holiday for the first time since I was 17 and I’m far more confident in myself.
At 36, I’ve finally beaten my personal battle with the bulge and I feel better than ever.