Triumph Rocket 3 GT
Built like a Lancaster, handles like a Spitfire – Triumph’s triple defies physics and convention to be utterly flabbergasting, which is fantastic, but, well, erm...
Along with the usual ‘wear a helmet’ and ‘don’t ride while lashed up’ stickers slapped on the Triumph, there should be a profanity warning. It’s impossible to ride the Rocket without repeated, frenzied, high-pitched use of the expletive of your choice. And I challenge anyone to describe what it’s like to other people without every other word being the type that makes mother blush. The first involuntary strong language comes when finding out what happens if you wrench the twistgrip. Except you don’t need to wrench. With a record 163 lb.ft of oomph delivered with immediacy from the bottom of the revs, just a hint of throttle lets the 2458cc triple (another record) bound onwards with an unstoppable force that could take it through the side of a house. And out the other side. Get greedy with the gas and the way the Rocket launches forward more than lives up to its name. Only Kawasaki’s blown H2 offers such part-throttle rampaging. ‘The Triumph’s an absolute missile compared with the other two,’ says Dom, his knuckles still white. ‘First gear feels a little over-managed and it doesn’t have the rasp of older triples. But get rolling, hook up into second, and you’re into a seemingly bottomless well of eager, striding, relentless power. It’s hilarious and amazing fun.’
Colourful words flow again at a corner. Someone at Hinckley must be involved in witchcraft as the Rocket’s handling defies logic. This is a truck-scale engine in a package that weighs a third of a ton, with wheels
in different postcodes and steamroller tyres. Yet this behemoth flicks like a super naked. The neutrality and lightness of the steering, easy direction changes, feel and confidence... it’s unprecedented. The Harley and BMW are ponderous and dull in comparison.
They’re less likely to blur your vision and jolt your back than the Rocket, though. Its fat forks and remote-preload rear shock are sportsbike stiff. You can’t waft – the Triumph jiggles and fidgets at low speed, and bangs off bumps. It only feels like you’re putting enough load through the chassis for the damping to work if you ride like a complete idiot. Both ends are adjustable, but there’s only so much scope and you can’t alter spring rate. I understand keeping the hefty chassis in check is part of why the Rocket handles so well but I’d trade unused cornering potential for greater ride comfort. At legal-ish road speeds the other bikes are more welcoming. Nimbleness and chuckability are even more unexpected given the riding position. As well as having the most girth the Triumph has the most pull-back handlebars and ’pegs that are furthest forward (with three options on how far away you’d like them). It’s the most cruiser-like stance, which only enhances the engine and chassis performance.
You get most toys on the Triumph, with cornering traction and ABS, cruise, hill hold, modes, and TFT dash with joystick switchgear control. Neat fold-out rear footpegs too, and as a GT it has a height-adjustable pillion back rest (presumably to minimise risk of leaving them in the road if you touch the throttle). You get the most presence too, though styling isn’t everyone’s cuppa. I like the Rocket’s attitude and impact but it’s not handsome, let alone pretty, and Dom decries it as, ‘a bit of a bugger’s muddle’. Let’s just say it’s unique. Actually, unique is the best way to describe the giant triple. There’s nowt like it. This is great if a ballistic, gravity-defying, comedy über-cruiser is what you want, but when we stop giggling at its second-gear thrust the Triumph’s appeal starts to fade. What’s it for? It’s not a real GT; there are better bikes for long weekends away or dayto-day use, and it’s certainly no all-rounder. We wouldn’t want one as our only bike. If you can afford £20,200 for occasional amusement then great, but as a cruiser the Rocket’s too firm, lacking the easy-going ride and jacket ‘n’ jeans cool of the BMW, and the unmistakable image (and sound) of the Harley. The Rocket’s amazing... but its pace and tech can’t make up for being a bit devoid of character and charm in this company.
‘Great if a gravitydefying, comedy über-cruiser is what you want’