Evading the scumbags
After 30 years as a copper, I can walk around an estate and pick out the houses that will get burgled (back alleyways, end of terrace, an easy fence to climb and somewhere to quietly spend 40 minutes prizing a window open). And it’s the same with garages, sheds and lock‑ups.
Forget booby traps
It’s all common sense stuff. For a start, when you’ve washed your bike on a Sunday morning don’t leave it outside all afternoon to impress the neighbours. I see that a lot. You might as well put up a sign saying ‘Nick my Multistrada’.
Then it’s a case of making your bike more difficult to pinch than the one down the road. Forget booby traps and crow scarers – they’re just gimmicks. Instead make sure you’ve got some outdoor lights that switch on automatically, an alarm, cameras, decent fences, locks and, if you can afford it, a tracker. In my experience a tracker won’t stop your bike being stolen – if you put a sticker on saying your bike’s got a tracker, the thieves will probably just strip the bike and find it. I don’t think they’re a theft deterrent. But they can definitely help get your bike back – we occasionally got sent to a location where an owner had tracked his stolen bike on his phone and wanted us there when he recovered it.
You following me?
Then there’s the risk of being tailed. Is there a car or bike behind that’s taken the same two or three turns as you? Thieves have taken to following riders home to see where they park up at night, then either coming back later themselves or passing the information on for a fee. If you suspect someone’s following, go around the block a few times and subtly lose them in traffic. More dangerous are the scooter‑ mounted thieves. These often work in threes, with one on one scooter, and two on another. They’ll all be wearing hoodies and neck warmers pulled up high, and the pillion will often be holding a cordless angle grinder. If I’m in a city and I’ve got a couple of scoots behind me riding together, with a pillion on one of them, I’m bugging out. Clearly I can’t condone breaking the law – I’m sure you can imagine how to lose a scooter. Finally, overnight parking on the street in a city? I just wouldn’t do it. It’s not just your bike, there’s a market for anything – I had the clocks nicked off a GS. If you have no choice, use a good chain to lock a wheel to something, and cover it up with the grubbiest old‑fashioned tarpaulin you can find…
‘Don’t leave bike outside to impress neighbours’