Christmas is the only day of the year I drink Baileys
Comedian Paul McCaffrey tells DAVE FREAK about his passion for pigs in blankets and his worst ever Christmas
FRESH from recording a spot for BBC TV’s Live At The Apollo, Paul McCaffrey visits Birmingham’s Glee Club as part of the venue’s Christmas Comedy Specials. A Britpop-loving radio presenter (Jack FM, Radio X, TalkSport, Absolute) and accomplished stand-up, Paul’s previously toured with such arena-friendly acts as Michael McIntyre, Kevin Bridges, and John Bishop, while his TV appearances include BBC3’s Impractical Jokers and Russell Howard’s Good News.
Once Christmas is over, Paul’ll be heading out with his own solo show, Lemon, in which he recounts his struggles with Chinese mobile phones, married life, self-help books and oven gloves.
Do you still look forward to Christmas?
Less so than I used to when I was younger, but I do like it. I don’t have kids. If I did it would probably be more magical/stressful. As it is though, it’s a free pass to have a gin and tonic at 7.30am on a Wednesday, which I suppose is pretty good.
What would you like for Christmas this year?
I mean, at the risk of sounding like a beauty pageant contestant... world peace, or something like it, would be alright wouldn’t it? I don’t know what the hell is going on, but it’s all got a bit miserable. Hopefully the new decade will bring a change for the better and everyone can start smiling again. I miss the 1990s – social media has a lot to answer for if you ask me.
Are you a traditionalist when it comes to Christmas? Do you go for the garishly decorated tree, mince pies, turkey with all the trimmings, the Queen’s speech ?
I think our Christmas decorations are generally pretty tasteful, but my wife is the one who takes all the credit for that. If I was in charge of that it would probably be a bit more National Lampoon’s. It’s the only day of the year I drink Baileys, so I guess that is a tradition of sorts. I also have a bit of a problem when it comes to pigs in blankets – I’ll be well into double figures by midday if everything goes according to plan.
What’s your favourite Christmas memory?
We used to go to Wales to my family down there, and one year my parents had got me a four foot snooker table, which they had tried to keep as a surprise, in spite of it being on the roof rack for the entire three hour journey. I think pretending to be surprised when I opened it on Christmas day is still, to date, my greatest ever performance.
Without shaming anyone (unless you want to) what was the most disappointing Christmas you’ve experienced?
I once went round to the house of a member of very extended family for what turned out to be the least calorific Christmas on record. An unacceptable amount of food was served and no whiff of seconds. We went back to my sister-in-law’s after and had fish finger sandwiches. I was starving! We had also not been included in any sort of present giving, in spite of the fact that we had bought presents for them.
What’s your favourite festive song, and why?
[The Pogues’] Fairytale Of New York. It’s just absolutely brilliant. It stirs something in us all, year after year. It’s happy, it’s sad, it’s elective, it’s hopeful... It’s Christmas! It is impossible to imagine Christmas without it
Do you have a favourite Christmas film or TV special?
I love Trading Places, must have watched that film 50 times, an absolute classic. There are several others. It’s not technically a Christmas film but as a kid I remember The Wizard Of Oz was a regular fixture in our house. I absolutely loved The Office Christmas specials, that was a real event, brilliant TV. I’m looking forward to Gavin And Stacey, and I miss the Only Fools And Horses Christmas specials.
Have you had a good 2019? What’s been some of your highlights?
I’ve had a good year professionally. Enjoyed the Edinburgh Festival this year and writing a new show for that. I also filmed a set for Live At The Apollo, which is such a big deal for me. I guess that was an early Christmas present.
And what are your plans for 2020?
I’m gonna get ripped mate, that’s my plan for 2020. It has, coincidentally, been my plan for every year since about 1998 and it’s yet to happen, but one year I will surprise everyone and spend a year in the gym getting hench. I should probably start by not eating 25 pigs in blankets on Christmas day.
PAUL McCaffrey appears at The Glee Club, The Arcadian, Birmingham, from Wednesday, December 11 to Saturday, December 14, when he’ll be joined by Canadian Allyson Smith, old timer Sol Bernstein, and Brum’s very own Andy Robinson. He then returns to the venue on Friday, February 21 with his solo show, Lemon. For tickets and more informatio, see: glee.co.uk