LIKE A LIME SHOWER GEL, IT’S FRESH AND INVIGORATING
Former footballer Pete Crouch is promising to save our summer with a new Saturday night TV show
“The guests that are coming on the show are also remarkably good. There’ll be a proper mix of famous names from sport, and massive talent from elsewhere and they’ll all be mucking in with whatever nonsense we’ve got up our sleeve that week. It’ll be like those lime shower gels you get nowadays – fresh and invigorating.”
Maya promises there will be something for everyone in the lighthearted entertainment show, and as for the music: “Viewers can expect lots of videos, clips and exclusives from their favourite artists. “Obviously a lot of tours and shows were cancelled this summer so we’re hoping to bring little tastes of that to the show. It will feel more personal because it’s from their houses.”
Peter Crouch: Save Our Summer is on Saturday, BBC1 at 9.15pm
IN MID-18TH century Brittany, Heloise (Adele Haenel) leaves behind the solitude and safety of her convent. She is powerless to prevent an arranged marriage – sight unseen – to an Italian nobleman orchestrated by her mother, La Comtesse (Valeria Golino).
The controlling matriarch plans to present the groom-to-be with a portrait of his prize but Heloise steadfastly refuses to pose.
Consequently, La Comtesse secretly hires painter Marianne (Noemie Merlant, pictured with Haenel) to produce a flattering portrait. Marianne is introduced as a walking companion for Heloise and must closely observe the bride-to-be during their clifftop strolls before painting at night from memory. As the two women spend more time together under false pretences, sparks of attraction and desire unexpectedly crackle between them, threatening to burn their carefully ordered worlds to the ground.
Portrait of a Lady on Fire is a sumptuous period drama from celebrated French film-maker Celine Sciamma, which sets our hearts ablaze with ravishing imagery that loses none of its impact on the small screen.
The writer-director reunites with Haenel, leading lady of her acclaimed debut feature Water Lilies, and lightning strikes twice as they stoke forbidden desires into a raging inferno of erotically charged sex scenes with Merlant’s painter.
Cinematographer Claire Mathon contrasts violent, crashing waves of the film’s remote island setting with emotions churning beneath the actors’ expressive faces.
We are rendered breathless alongside Heloise and Marianne as they grapple with words to adequately express the longing in their scorched hearts.
UNDERWATER (12)
IT’S a shame this claustrophobic survival sci-fi horror sank at the UK box office as it left me gasping for air in delivering a welter of crowdpleasing blockbuster thrills.
Twilight star Kristen Stewart (pictured) is typically terrific as she anchors the action with a gutsy physical performance.
She plays an ocean bed drilling station engineer who finds herself in deep water and under enormous pressure.
When mysterious tremors cause a catastrophic collapse and leave most of the crew dead, she and her fellow survivors face even further terrors as morale and oxygen run low.
THE IRON MASK (12)
SUBTITLED Mystery of the Dragon Seal, The Iron Mask is a madcap caper set in the 18th century directed by Oleg Stepchenko, which pairs Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jackie Chan (pictured) in breathless action sequences. English cartographer Jonathan Green (Jason Flemyng) is on the trail of the fabled Dragon Seal, which supposedly harnesses supernatural powers. The odyssey take him from Russia to China in search of the precious artefact.
En route, Jonathan encounters black magic wizardry, a dragon king and a motley crew of reprobates, who wants to get their hands on the seal for nefarious purposes.
Charles Dance and Rutger Hauer co-star.