I’m at my best with my kids... that’s probably because we’re all autistic...
Model and reality television star CHRISTINE McGUINNESS reveals her autism diagnosis in her new book
CHRISTINE MCGUINNESS has tirelessly campaigned for autism awareness after her three children with husband TV presenter Paddy McGuinness, were diagnosed with the condition.
The 33-year-old model and reality TV star reveals both the struggles and the joy the couple have faced bringing up twins Leo and Penelope, eight, and five-year-old Felicity, in her new book Christine McGuinness: A Beautiful Nightmare.
She also details her battles with anorexia and a childhood blighted by abuse by a family friend.
Here in an extract from her book, she talks about her own autism diagnosis.
I have been confirmed as autistic. It’s strange, but I’ve noticed there are little hints throughout my life that I’m autistic and more like my children than I ever could have imagined. My issues with food, my social struggles, how hard I find it to make friends and stay focused, and my indecisiveness.
The way I float through life reminds me of how my eldest daughter Penelope is.
It all makes sense now. And as much as I’m not totally surprised, it’s still been emotional for me to accept, but it’s a relief as well.
My diagnosis came in August. Patrick and I were invited to meet with expert Sir Simon Baron-Cohen at Cambridge University.
Patrick and I filled out what’s called an AQ questionnaire. It tests for symptoms of autism. While lots of people might carry a few traits, to actually be classed as autistic you’re required to score a high number, and I did.
The scale goes from zero to 50 and the average neurotypical person would score up to 15. While my husband was bangon average, mine was 36, which is high.
Sir Simon confirmed I’m autistic. And not just mildly – I’m quite high up the spectrum.
It was a lot to take in and once my appointment was over, I broke down in floods of tears. I think it’s because the news conjured up a mixture of emotions and while I’m not totally shocked and it’s a relief, I’m just really sad for my younger self.
Because of my inability to concentrate and my hatred for my school, I left with no GCSEs. I was more than capable of sitting the exams, but I just couldn’t be in that exam hall.
I remember it so clearly… everyone was on single desks all over the room. I could hear people scribbling their pens on the exam paper and every page turning sounded like a drum banging. I just sat there and didn’t do anything. I didn’t lift my pen.
What made it even tougher was after a while of staring into space, I got shouted at by the teacher and asked to leave the room. I rushed out in tears and that was it.
After my appointment I set off on my drive home to Cheshire, and I thought about Patrick.
I wasn’t sure how he’d react, but when I told him he said he expected it and he’d suspected I was autistic for years – he never thought to tell me. Patrick was always conscious that I was a bit different and had my little quirks, but he never understood exactly what it was. There are times when he gets really frustrated with me, for example when it takes me hours to get ready. Not even when I’m getting fully glammed up, but simple things like picking between two plain T-shirts, and not being able to decide which one to wear.
And it’s mad when I think about it, that throughout my 20s, I never had one single night out – not one. I didn’t have a hen party, I didn’t have a 16th, an 18th, a 21st, or a 30th. For me, that’s normal.
I made every single excuse not to leave the house and socialise. I understand now it’s because I’m autistic, and it’s much easier to stay in and not have to deal with the real world when you’ve got autism.
I am the best version of me when I’m with my children and that’s probably because we’re all autistic. The four of us are quite happy to stay in and sometimes not talk to each other. It’s when I’m out and about that my autistic mind really goes into overdrive.
Even my food struggles I’ve had throughout my life make sense to me now.
I’ve only tried green food, like broccoli, over the last couple of years. I can eat it, because I know
I’ve got to be healthy, but I never once tried colourful food until my 30s. It’s quite common for autistic people to favour beige food.
So, my autistic traits can range from aversions to patterns, or my issues with food to something really social, like making friends.
I’m trying to see my diagnosis as a positive thing – at least I know for definite. In fact, there are lots of upsides to being autistic, just like there are with the three kiddies.
I’m quite creative and artistic, and I enjoy doing crafts and painting with the children.
One of my finest qualities is that I’m very open-minded to people and I think I’m genuinely kind. That’s something that’s in my children, too.
“I bet you wish you didn’t have children,” someone once said to me. How disgusting is that. I couldn’t believe it. Well, actually, no, they’re still my children and I love them so much and I’m so lucky to have them. Having had some time to digest my diagnosis, there are a few things I can take from it.
As well as it being a huge relief, I understand myself better than ever, I’m certain this can benefit my children, too. We haven’t told them yet that they’re autistic.
But now it’s been confirmed that I am, the fact that they’re like Mummy can only make it easier when we do speak to them about it.
I’m hoping my diagnosis will do a lot of good and any women reading this who are unsure about themselves, it might be inspiring to them.
I’m married with children and I’m working, which are things a lot of people might question whether an autistic person can do.
But I’m living proof that, although it’s not easy, with a bit of grit, resilience and a supportive family you can achieve anything.
Pre-order Christine McGuinness: A Beautiful Nightmare (RRP £20, out November 25) and save £5 with offer code XA9. Order online at mirrorbooks.co.uk
ADAM DRIVER is trying to decide on his most memorable moment from his time working with Lady Gaga.
The duo are electric together on screen in House of Gucci, in which they play the once-married couple, Maurizio Gucci and Patrizia Reggiani.
“It’s hard to say because there are so many things that we just took in a really weird direction,” muses the Star Wars actor, 38, who hails from San Diego.
“We were both so eager to play, and there’s nothing to work on as far as chemistry – it’s just there.
“The more intimate scenes were really fun because we’re pretty comfortable. I feel comfortable in my own skin and she is in hers and there’s more of an anxiety of like, ‘What’s going to happen?”’
The ending of House of Gucci – directed by Sir Ridley Scott, the man behind movies like Alien and Gladiator – is so shocking, it’s hard to believe it’s inspired by real events.
The story delves into the history of the family behind the Italian designer fashion brand, Gucci, which was founded in Florence in 1921 by Guccio Gucci. Written by Becky Johnston and Roberto Bentivegna, the dynastic saga takes us on a journey of scandal and betrayal, starting in the 1970s – a big turning point for Gucci.
At the time, the business is being overseen by Guccio’s sons, Aldo (Al Pacino) and Rodolfo (Jeremy Irons), but there’s the question of who will be at the helm next.
When Rodolfo’s son Maurizio meets the beautiful Patrizia, he falls in love and marries her against his father’s wishes – and she persuades him to join his family company. Aldo’s son – the hapless, fanciful Paolo (Jared Leto) – is not happy about this.
But more drama is to come; with rising competition from rivals such as Armani, Versace, and Lagerfeld, ambitious Patrizia goads her husband into staging a coup. The couple seizes control of the business, and Maurizio starts to enjoy the power he has. In fact, he ends up turning on Patrizia, leaving their marriage in tatters.
Desperate for revenge, she joins forces with psychic, Pina Auriemma (Salma Hayek), but Maurizio has no idea of the danger that lies ahead...
For Adam, the initial draw of the project – which many are predicting to win big at next year’s Oscars – was teaming up with Ridley again.
“We had just worked together on The Last Duel, and I loved it,” he enthuses. “So when he reached out to me, I couldn’t wait to get back on set with him.”
Meanwhile, New York native Lady Gaga, who received critical acclaim for her role in A Star Is Born (the film also won an Oscar for Best Original Song for Shallow, which she co-wrote), loved the complexities of her character.
“Before they see the film, some people might think Patrizia is a gold digger,” says the 35-year-old. “But when they got married, his family had turned their back on him. So, she didn’t marry for money, she married for love.”
The renowned musician – whose hits include Poker Face, Bad Romance and Born This Way – notes that Patrizia “wanted so much to be taken seriously by the family”.
“She was smart and felt that she knew what to do in order to move the company forward. But their acceptance was only an illusion. They were all just using her to get to Maurizio and firm up their control.
She was always an outsider, a woman in a man’s world, and there’s only so much she could do, as many women know. Their power can often go unnoticed.”
What did Adam – who also starred in Oscar-winning drama Marriage Story – learn about Maurizio in his preparation for the role?
“Well, I learned lots of things that are probably boring, about building a character, like what his accent was. He spoke English very well where he was educated in London – how do we say that in the accent? And factual things, about how controlling his father was and was he reluctant to take over the business? What was his relationship to this idea of legacy that’s talked about in the movie?”
The charismatic star continues: “The most surprising is his relationship to the spiritual part of it all, which is not in the movie, but it was in life.
“At one point he also had a spiritual advisor, and they were casting spells on each other. There’s one story where he walked into a room and felt a presence because Patrizia’s Pina had sent a spell on the house.”
Another brilliant performance in House of Gucci comes from Louisiana-born Jared Leto.
The 49-year-old – who is also the lead vocalist for Thirty Seconds to Mars, the band he formed with his older brother Shannon Leto – first rose to prominence in the US TV series My So-Called Life.
Next came memorable film roles in Fight Club, Requiem for a Dream, and Dallas Buyers Club, for which he received an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor.
Playing Paolo Gucci required quite the transformation, with the star donning a bald cap and undergoing six hours of heavy prosthetics every morning, leaving him unrecognisable in the film.
“I love that Paolo always had a twinkle in his eye, and a belly full of bread,” reflects Jared.
“He was someone who enjoyed life. It was fun to play a character that was always singing and dancing and fighting for his creative survival. He was very passionate and volatile.
“Every scene that I had was absolutely incredible. A challenging experience, but worth every single second.”
Elaborating further on how he embodied Paolo, he recalls: “I studied Italian, I immersed myself in Italian culture and history and the language, the music of the time.
“I paid a visit to Paolo’s grave, which was very beautiful, and an emotional experience.
“I read everything that I could, watched everything that I could, spoke to family and friends, and really just tried to bring an impression of this life to the screen.
He adds: “I had a blast doing it. I find Paolo to be a very lovable and fun guy.”
House of Gucci is released in cinemas on Friday.