BLACK COUNTRY BALLADS

They won’t want all that noise While they carry out that procedure ‘It’s all right officer,’ I says ‘Our work is almost complete here’ ‘Not so fast young man,’ he said ‘We would like your co-operation’ I began to panic and turned red ‘We want someone who fits your description.’ ‘W-what,’ I stammered ‘But what have I done? Whatever it was I own up!’ He smiled and said, ‘It’s OK son, ‘We just want blokes like you for the line up.’ ‘There’ll be three quid in it for yer, ‘We’d like you to do if you can.’ I remembered a film with Henry Fonda By Hitchcock, called The Wrong Man He gets picked out of a line up Though he is innocent His life collapses as he’s tangled up In a calamitous chain of events I voiced my concern to the officer ‘Oh there’s no chance of that’ he smiled I didn’t believe him but if I didn’t take part He’d think I had something to hide I stood in the line fleeing like a crook Although I’d done nothing at all They brought in the witness: ‘Take your time, have a look’ I tried my best to look casual His eyes settled upon mine He never gave the others a glance ‘That’s the one!’ and the other heads Turned as one, it was like something from Riverdance

And so I stood waiting for the cuffs I waited for my cell Waiting for that good cop, bad cop stuff Waiting for my life to go to hell It seemed they were going to make me sweat They were in no rush to make their move It occurred to me they hadn’t told me yet Of what it was I was accused Would I get bail, see my family again? Would I feel again the wind on my face? Perhaps they’s go easier if I came clean Whatever it was, I was ready to confess! Well people came and went I may as well have been invisible No-one seemed in a rush to arrest This potentially dangerous criminal Then he appeared, that officer The architect of my woes He said, ‘Why are you hanging round here? ‘You got nowhere to go?’ So I told him my story He looked at me as if I were green round the gills He said, ‘These things are just a formality ‘I think you’ve seen too many films’ Oh what a day, someone came to say ‘We haven’t finished with you yet kid ‘You need to report to the front desk ‘You’ve got to pick up your three quid!’