DIARY OF AN URBAN GRANDAD
MET up with an old friend for breakfast the other morning. In a quiet little cafe up by The Downs. Very nice it was too. Most satisfying.
We stayed for ages and had a grand old time, jawing away like gobstoppers. In case you’re wondering, the place is called Marmalade Cafe, and I can thoroughly recommend it. Easy to find, just a few steps off Blackboy Hill, along Worral Road, near the pet shop.
After ordering a couple of breakfast sandwiches, we got chatting to the brand new owners, a brother and sister combo who travelled all the way from South Africa to set up shop for the good people of Bristol. Very nice they are too, both of them.
Obviously, as was pointed out, the timing could have been a wee bit better, lockdown hasn’t been kind to many small businesses out there, but as for their breakfast sandwiches. Well. They could not have They been truly were any more scrumptious. gorgeous. A symphony of sausage, bacon and egg. Slathered in sauce and slurped down with lashings of hot tea. Sigh. Perfect way to start the day. And keep it ticking along nicely too.
But that’s not the point. Though it could be. No, the point is that even though my mate and I are a pair of oldies, with more wrinkles than a bucket full of raisins after rain, we did it all in the modern way. Paying close attention to the new rules of play by which we live these days.
We arranged time and date via texts on our phones, made a booking online, sat down at opposite sides of the table. And then, well, then we hit a problem. A sort of social snag.
You see, in the good old days, when you met up with a mate, everyone knew what to do. You shook hands, or, if you feeling a bit exotic and fancy free, you maybe went for a hug. Some bold spirits even kissed on the cheek. Ooh, la, la. Very nice it was too. Très amiable.
However, in the big, bad world of now, none of the above is really acceptable. Which leaves us all with a dilemma. What do you do, when you want to greet an old friend? And, likewise, what do you do when it’s time to say goodbye? Tricky questions, both. However, just as we were wondering out loud about this very thing, trying to work out how to greet and meet without touching, another friend walked into the cafe. So then we were three.
As he stood there, obviously trying to work through the exact same problem, trying to figure out how to say hello without shaking hands, I casually gave him a salute and wished him good day. At which moment, a light went off in all of our heads. Saluting, that’s the way to do it!
So, dear reader, if you find yourself, like that merry band of breakfast brothers, trying to work out a polite, yet socially spacious, way of meeting mates, I invite you to join the club of canny saluters. Turns out, it’s an excellent and slightly silly way to brighten the day.
Because, of course, the salute is only the beginning. Next decision to make, as you are flicking a hand towards your forehead, is what to say when you make your move. To begin with, we went for basic titles like, Sir, Mr Mayor, and The Right Reverend. But you don’t have to stop there. The world of honorifics is your oyster. So, hope you and yours are safe, well and happy. Until next time, yours
❝ In the good old days, when you met up with a mate, everyone knew what to do. You shook hands, or, if you feeling a bit exotic and fancy free, you maybe went for a hug. Some bold spirits even kissed on the cheek. Ooh, la, la