A devoted couple
IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT FOR JOYCE AND CHICK – AND THAT’S THE WAY IT STAYED DURING THEIR HAPPY LIVES TOGETHER AS AN ARMY FAMILY AND THE YEARS AFTER
GREAT love affairs can last a lifetime, and it was a chance meeting on January 29, 1961, between Joyce and Arthur Cheetham that – in the truest sense – opened the door to theirs.
Joyce, who was born and raised in Walkden, near Bolton, had gone to the home of her uncle Danny, at the same time that Arthur – who was always known as “Chick” – was there visiting.
“Mum told us that the door at Danny’s house used to stick, so you had to give it a good heave,” the couple’s daughter Sandy CheethamBah, 56, recalls fondly. “Dad pulled the door open to Mum and she quite literally fell at his feet. He always said that he looked down at her as she looked up at him, and in that moment they both just knew.
COURTING BY LETTER
“Dad was home on Army leave at the time, and due to return to Hong Kong the next day. For the first two years of their relationship, all the courting was done by letter. They married on September 22, 1962, in Walkden, and never looked back. The strong connection they’d felt on first setting eyes on each other never wavered, and throughout their lives together, my brother Phil and I never heard them argue even once.”
Family was always an important part of life for both Chick and Joyce. Chick was born and raised in Manchester, and was very close to his mother Doris, and younger siblings Barbara and David.
Always independent and selfsufficient, Chick left school at the age of 15 and worked at several jobs – including in a bakery and as an apprentice electrician – before achieving his dream of joining the Army at 18, in the Royal Corps of Signals, in 1954.
Joyce, meanwhile, was the third of four siblings, born to her parents
Lily and James. When James returned to England from Burma after World War II, Joyce and her brother Colin went to live with him.
“Mum idolised her dad and both she and Colin were really close to him,”says Phil, 55, from Blackpool. “She was a resilient character, just like James.”
ARMY LIFE
After their marriage, Joyce and Chick settled in Gloucester, their first home being a caravan, before they were allocated Army living quarters. They went on to spend three years in Famagusta, Northern Cyprus between 1965 and 1968, before being based in Germany for seven years.
“Talking to Mum and Dad recently, they described Northern Cyprus as possibly the best time in their lives,” Sandra says. “Mum had a funny memory of flooding their flat in Famagusta, but not wanting to wake Dad who was sleeping after a night shift. So she just stuck me in wellies, and I was paddling around while she tried to fix things.”
“We went to an Army school in Germany, and loved living there,” Phil adds. “It meant Sandra and I
were very close growing up, especially as there’s just 19 months between us.
“It was absolutely brilliant being part of Army life, but our outlook as a family wasn’t insular. Mum and Dad were very keen to get to know local people. They had a real respect and appreciation for different cultures.
“We used to travel to Austria a lot, and we’d stay near where they had filmed The Sound of Music. And then there were Christmas and summer holidays back in Manchester.
“Mum and Dad were well matched, but they didn’t fall into the typical gender roles of the time. Dad would do a lot of the housework. He couldn’t cook though, which was funny when Mum went into hospital for an operation. We remember him serving up fried stringy cheese!”
Chick was posted to Bristol in the 1970s, and the family bought a house in Northville. Joyce had worked as a cook for the local Army schools before coming to England, followed by Colston’s Girls’ School. Chick remained in the forces until retiring, later becoming attached to the local TA centre and working at the Royal Box at Wimbledon, where he became an honorary steward. “Mum and Dad loved doing quizzes together,” Sandy recalls. “We used to have a family quiz every Friday. Both of them were also involved with the Royal Signals Association – Dad was chair of the local branch. “Dad was a Manchester City fan too, and travelled all over the UK supporting them. He also played squash and ran marathons. But he and Mum just loved spending time together. They came as a pair! “The other great love of their lives was their grandchildren – Phil’s daughters Becky, 25, and Chloe, 23, and my 11-year-old daughter Inaya.
When the kids were around, we didn’t get a look-in!”
Five years ago, Joyce was diagnosed with slow-developing vascular dementia, but in August this year the family learned that she had an aggressive brain tumour, and just months to live.
FINAL DAYS
“At this stage Sandy and I moved in to care for them,” Phil says. “Mum’s dementia hadn’t developed much yet, and she was alert and chatting to the end, with hospice at home care meaning they could remain in their bungalow.
“Dad had a heart condition, and tragically had a heart attack the morning after Mum died. He said: ‘I just want to be with my wife now.’ Neither of them was scared of dying. Dad always said that he wouldn’t die before mum and was true to his vow. Their story is known by many as the best love story ever told.”
Sandy adds: “I think the legacy of what they’ve left us is their good values, love and respect, which will run through our veins forever.
“That, and the fact that they both had the best sense of humour. Our house was always full of laughter.”
I think the legacy of what they’ve left us, is their good values, love and respect, which will run through our veins forever Joyce and Arthur’s son Phil