Diary of an urban Grandad Lounging through lockdown two
DON’T know about you, but I am finding this lockdown a bit more of a chore than the first. Not quite sure why, but there it is. An itch that can’t be scratched. A flea that can’t be reached and won’t stop biting. Whatever you call it, truth is, you can’t go round it, can’t get rid of it, got to go through with it.
Expect I am not the only one. Expect there are others out there also starting to feel as if a nationwide pause button has been hit. Knowing that boredom has set in and thumbs are being twiddled as far as the eye can see. It’s most unnerving.
Trouble is, try as we might, we can’t get away from facts. Whether they are real or imaginary ones. It’s pointless getting stressed out by what is going on. No matter which side of the divide you find yourself on, the only thing to be done for the next few days, weeks and maybe even months, is to grin and get on with it. To go about the day to day business of living as best you feel able, whilst also trying to find a way of making each moment just that little bit more like real life.
One way of doing that, is by finding new things to do. Diversions. Amusements. New stuff to engage the heart and mind. Naturally, being a lazy sort, my first instinct in this area, was to reach for the TV remote. Now, I’m not proud of myselft. Not boasting. It’s hardly an honourable way to behave. No-one has ever achieved glory and fame by giving in, putting on their comfy trousers, you know the ones I mean, the ones with elasticated waists, and turning on the TV. Especially when they do it during the day time. But I rather fear it happens to all of us at some point in our sad lives. Especially when we used to work from home, before our industry was closed down, that is. Sigh. This moment of resignation from the cares of the world comes to us all. The acceptance that Jeremy Vine and his ilk may actually have some purpose after all.
Talking of which, having watched daytime TV for a little while recently, I’m starting to think that if there is such a thing as the moral low ground, it is to be found in the nether reaches of this media channel.
You see, I’ve never really spent that much time with it before, so the last few days have been a real eye opener. If you don’t watch it yourself, let me save you some time. It’s even worse than you could ever possibly have dared to imagine. An open cesspit of unsavoury delights. Filled with froth and nonsense of the most brain deadening variety.
But, desperate times call for desperate deeds. Once I turned the telly on, my foot was on the slippery slope. So gravity took over and did its dirty work. Dragging me all the way down to the horror of morning sofa shows, followed by the nightmare of daytime quizs. At which point I noticed a couple of odd things happening to my mind and body.
Firstly, I found myself craving snacks. Unhealthy ones. Not sure if it’s the lifestyle, the adverts or the desire to eat oneself into an early grave.
But watching daytime telly seems to trick my body into needing large amounts of processed fats, sugars and carbs. None of which are even remotely good for anything, except making you feel unwell, in my humble experience.
Secondly, and this might well be related to the above, I found myself wanting to spend more and more time in pyjama wear. Far more than was decent or socially acceptable. After all, if you are going to spend most of the day slumped in front of the telly, grazing on prepackaged rubbish from the snack counter, well, what’s the point of getting dressed up for anything?
Added to which, those elasticated waistbands are very forgiving. Very relaxed. Especially when it comes to letting it all hang out in the belly department.
All of which is just a long winded way of explaining what you should do, if you should happen to meet a mature male in lounge wear, such as myself. Don’t judge. Even if it does look like he is stumbling home from the corner shop with armfuls of chocolate and crisps whilst also dragging what appears to be a barrel full of biscuits.
It might be the only thing that’s keeping him sane.
Hope you and yours are safe, well and happy.
Until next time, all the best
Watching daytime telly seems to trick my body into needing large amounts of processed fats, sugars and carbs