Back in the day, I didn’t even know what anxiety was
MCFLY’S DOUGIE POYNTER TALKS TO LUKE RIX-STANDING ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF LOOKING
FROM rocketing to stardom with boy band McFly in 2004, when he was just 16, to forming supergroup McBusted nine years later, then getting McFly back together in 2019 a, Dougie Poynter has had an extremely eventful career.
He even managed to fit in being crowned King of the Jungle on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here in 2011.
Now Dougie, 33, who has spoken openly about his own mental health issues, is heading up a new Three campaign in partnership with Samaritans, alongside his bandmate Tom Fletcher, 35. The campaign encourages people to actively support each other after research revealed that Brits feel their mental health has worsened during the coronavirus pandemic.
Dougie tells us how the band support each other, and the ways he looks after his own mental health...
What led you to get involved in a mental health campaign?
The campaign is encouraging people to be better listeners, which I think is a lot harder than it sounds. I know I struggle with it. Me and Tom have been friends for 17 years and have been through a lot of ups and downs. Even so we’ve been absolutely terrible at talking in the past.
We had a band therapy session a couple of years ago, and it’s amazing how much you can sort out just by talking properly.
Did that therapy help you all as individuals, as well as the group?
Yeah totally, and it’s about reminding ourselves how to communicate and normalising that.
I catastrophise – if something is wrong, or someone doesn’t come in all guns blazing cracking gags, I can think ‘we’re never gonna be able to write another song’.
So it’s about normalising someone feeling down – that it’s OK to be like that.
It’s generally considered that men are worse at talking about problems – do you think it’s true?
Yeah. We’re not very macho dudes at all – everyone in the band is extremely sensitive – but even though we all know that, we still struggle to admit it in a serious way.
What does it mean to be a better listener?
Often if someone comes to you with a problem you feel like you have to fix it by saying ‘well, what I do is this, this and this’.
That can help but it can also not, because you both end up just talking at each other about problems. We all deal with things in different ways, so sometimes it’s worth just truly, 100% listening.
It feels like people are talking more about mental health now. Do you think the situation is better than it was when you were younger?
Yeah, it’s become way more normal for people to open up. Back in the day, I didn’t even know what anxiety was, or panic attacks. I genuinely just thought I was dying – ‘oh my god I’m dying, I’m dying’ – and would have to get home, power up the computer and wait for Google... ‘Why do I feel like this... oh, that’s anx-... anxiety?’
Now people are talking about it openly, and I find it really awesome when it’s people I look up to in the public eye.
I’ll think ‘oh well they’ve got it all sorted, wish I had their life’ and then they’ll say ‘actually, I’m terrified of this’ or ‘I’ve been really down’...
I’m really stoked that it’s become the norm to talk about it...
What do you rely on for your wellbeing in day-to-day life?
I’m quite aware of my own mental state these days, and there are a few different pillars – exercise, diet, meditation and sleep.
How has your pandemic been overall? Have you managed to keep working?
Yeah, that’s been really fortunate. We have odd jobs anyway, as we don’t get paid on the day we make something – we spend months and months making something and get paid a year after.
I’m always in the headspace of ‘keep making stuff no matter what’, and I’ve been able to play guitar and record demos and send them off to different band members.
What’s been the hardest part of the lockdowns?
help us become better listeners
Christmas was a write off, but I thank technology, because I was able to play video games for hours and hours with friends who also couldn’t go home to their families. Winter sucks anyway.
The first lockdown was about gardens and walks and exercising, but as soon as the novelty wore off and winter hit, it was like ‘oh man, there is nothing to do’.