Covid-19 denied me a final farewell to my wife
WIDOWER FORCED TO SELF-ISOLATE PRAISES LOVING CARE HIS SICK WIFE RECEIVED AT HOSPICE, BUT IT NOW DESPERATELY NEEDS CASH TO HELP OTHERS –
A HUSBAND has told of the heartbreaking moment he had to leave his dying wife when he had to selfisolate just days into the first coronavirus lockdown.
Adam Watkinson, of Alrewas, had to say his final farewell to his wife Sue who was receiving palliative care at a hospice and go into selfisolation because of covid-19.
But he has nothing but praise for staff at St Giles Hospice, saying even though he could not be with her in her final moments, the knowledge she was so well cared for and did not die in fear was the greatest gift he could give at such a difficult time.
He said of the day he had to leave his wife of six years: “I sat next to Sue, holding her hand. She was wearing a watch that I had bought her just weeks before and I watched the minutes on it ticking down to 12, knowing from that moment on I’d probably never see her again.”
Sue was receiving palliative care as an inpatient at St Giles, in Whittington, when she called Adam on the morning of March 25 – two days after the country went into the first national lockdown – telling him she was struggling to breathe. Adam rushed to her bedside, fearing she was taking her last breaths but the nurses helped to reassure Sue and they were able to help her.
However, later that morning St Giles clinical director Katie Burbridge had to tell Adam the devastating news that they suspected Sue had Covid-19 and that they were waiting for the test results.
Lichfield diocesan priest Adam said: “At that time – in the height of lockdown – and because I, too, had possibly been exposed to coronavirus, I had no choice but to self-isolate for seven days on Government guidance.
“It was such an emotional moment for everyone, but Katie was so helpful and thoughtful. She knelt down next to Sue, held her hand and told her that she would keep her safe. It was a beautiful moment at such a terrible time. Katie’s reassurance was so important to us both.”
Sue, who worked as matron-incollege at Eton School in Berkshire, was diagnosed with cervical cancer in 2018.
During school term time she and Adam – an Anglican priest and chaplain at Charterhouse School in Surrey – lived apart, but during the holidays the couple shared a home in Alrewas with Sue’s son, Sam.
They moved to their new home in July 2019, but only months later Sue fell ill on New Year’s Eve and a scan revealed her cancer had returned and spread. She began chemotherapy but developed sepsis and was told the treatment would have to end and that she would receive palliative, end-of-life, care.
Sue was admitted to St Giles on March 20 in the hope her condition could be stabilised enough for her to return home, and Adam spent as much time with her as he could.
Adam said: “Right from day one she was totally reassured that St Giles was the best place for her to be. The nurses started caring for her straight away – no detail was left unchecked and they looked after her so well. The food was lovely and Sue was able to enjoy it – it was wonderful to see her regain her appetite and enjoy eating again.
“Sue loved birds and her room looked out on to the trees. We were allowed to put bird feeders up so she could watch them, which was such a joy.”
But two days later Adam was told family visits were being limited to one a day due to the national rise in Covid-19 cases, and further safety measures were then introduced in accordance with Government guidelines.
“The staff were all so wonderful and we looked upon them as family,” he added. “They started to wear protective clothing – but despite that, we could still see their eyes and could see the love and compassion that was there.
“One of the people who cared for Sue was asthmatic and, although she could have been vulnerable to Covid-19 herself, I watched as she helped my wife. I preach about love and self-sacrifice but at St Giles I was watching it in action every day.
“They showed such professionalism, with humanity and gentleness.
When the nation clapped for the NHS and health staff each week I could put real faces to them.”
Adam is so grateful for the love and care that his wife received and the support he and Sam have been offered since Sue died that he is sharing his story to support St Giles’ Katie’s Appeal – the fund-raising campaign launched in spring 2020, which has become vitally important again during the latest lockdown.
Adam has told his story in a moving video which accompanies the appeal, named after Katie Burbridge, the hospice’s clinical director who pledged to look after Sue during her final days when
Adam was unable to visit.
Katie said: “Sue was going to face death without him, but we made sure we were 100 per cent with her and she was never, ever on her own – that’s the promise I made to Adam and that’s the promise we kept as a team.
“We are so indebted to Adam for his kind support and honoured that we were able to offer Sue and Adam comfort at such a heartbreaking time.
“With ongoing Covid-19 restrictions this continues to be an extremely worrying time for everyone, especially our patients and their families who are living with a terminal illness.”
Reliving his final moments with Sue, Adam is asking people to help in any way they can. He said: “It’s so important other families continue to get the care, love and reassurance that Sue and I received.
“I was devastated when we had to part, but Sue told me not to get too upset and that it would just be like when we went to work at our separate schools. It was a relief to see that she had such acceptance and it helped so much that Katie had promised Sue would be safe.
“Sue’s end – when it came – was quite beautiful. She passed away on the morning of Sunday, March 29, after a night of restful sleep.
“She could see the birds through the window and one of the nurses who was caring for Sue noticed a change in her breathing and was holding her hand as she slipped away.
“The care and support we received as the end approached and the continuing support we have had from St Giles since Sue passed away is very special. They have kept in touch and they genuinely do feel like family to us.
“When we first arrived at St Giles a nurse said that the hospice was about life, not death, and we got a real sense of that. It’s not a place to be feared. There’s a vibrancy, there’s a care and there’s a joy.”