BUBBLING RAGE
Angry about your friends mixing households or spurning masks? LIZ O’CONNOR looks at how to handle the frustration of people not following the covid-19 rules
DESPITE the repeated messages from the Government to stay home, protect the vulnerable and avoid all unnecessary travel, it’s clear that not everyone is adhering to the coronavirus guidelines.
If you’ve spent months avoiding seeing family and friends, it can be frustrating to enter a supermarket and spot someone shopping without a mask, or to hear about an acquaintance bending the rules to visit other households.
And knowing that some people aren’t getting behind the national effort can quickly cause anxiety about the spread of the virus and what the future holds.
While you can’t control what others do, experts say you can learn to influence your emotional response to rule-breakers. Here’s how to keep calm and carry on.
STICK WITH YOUR BUBBLE
Dr Meg Arroll, chartered psychiatrist at Healthspan, says that it’s a good idea to try and distance yourself from loved ones who are interpreting the guidance differently from you – especially if you feel that it’s putting your health at risk.
“Be clear with those in your immediate bubble on what the latest rules are and how you will adhere to them,” she says. “Stick to the boundaries that you’ve agreed on and minimise your contact with others who may not be so rigid.”
IF WORRY SETS IN, BREATHE DEEPLY
If you start to feel a sense of panic after mixing with people who aren’t wearing masks in indoor public spaces, Dr Arroll says you should try breathing deeply through your belly to halt the innate stress response.
At the same time, you can reassure yourself that your face covering is doing its job.
“Also, remember that there are some circumstances that prevent people from wearing masks,” reminds Dr Arroll. “They may have a medical reason for not wearing one, so bear that in mind before you jump to judgements.”
LIMIT YOUR TIME ON SOCIAL MEDIA
It’s easy to feel outraged if you spot an influencer or celebrity on a foreign holiday on Instagram, so unfollow accounts that are making you feel uncomfortable.
Of course, it’s tempting to want to confront those you think are flouting the rules, but Dr Arroll says that typing aggressive comments on people’s holiday posts is an unhealthy way to address your feelings.
“Anger is very often a response to fear, so it would be useful to release this feeling in a more productive way. You could talk to a close friend about how you feel, or write it down in a journaling exercise,” she says.
EXERCISE AWAY THE STRESS
If someone you care about acts in a way that goes against your personal boundaries, it’s normal to feel upset about it.
“It’s a very stressful time so if you’re prone to anxiety, make sure you take the
time to manage that stress proactively,” says Dr Paul Mclaren, of Priory’s Wellbeing Centres.
“Aerobic exercise and active relaxation will help, either indoor or outdoor,” he says, adding that you could also try meditating.
TELL OTHERS HOW YOU FEEL
Priory psychotherapist Pamela Roberts says: “If you know someone that’s repeatedly breaking the rules, talk to them about how you feel and the importance of the rules to you.
“This is to ensure that others are aware of the rights and wrongs of current regulations, which will help to give you peace of mind about the situation.”
REMEMBER EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT
The heightened anxiety around the coronavirus pandemic has left us hyper-critical of others, but it’s good to keep your head by reminding yourself that not everyone is in your shoes.
“It might sound obvious, but it’s important to remember everyone is different,” stresses therapist Jessica Boston. “They handle life challenges differently, and interpret information differently, so remember that it isn’t a personal attack on you.” That being said, everyone should be doing their bit to stick to the rules, and if you’re seriously concerned about a breach of the latest government guidance in the UK, you can find out how you can report the incident by visiting police.uk.
Remember that there are some circumstances that prevent people from wearing masks.
Psychiatrist Dr Meg Arroll
IF YOU are struggling to get to sleep, you are not alone. A recent study from King’s College London found that two thirds of us have experienced bad nights since the pandemic began. So try these smart sleep tips to help you quickly drift off.
DON’T READ
HEARING is the last sense to shut down when we nod off, so listening to a story as opposed to the eye exertion of reading a book in bed better prepares the mind and body for sleep.
Try a podcast that’s designed to help by being deliberately boring, such as Sleep With Me.
LOOSEN UP
TRY this relaxation trick used by the US army to help them fall asleep on battlefields – it proved effective for 96% of recruits who tried it for six weeks.
Begin by relaxing the muscles in your face. First tighten up and then loosen your tongue and jaw and the muscles around the eyes.
Once your face feels soft, drop your shoulders as far down as they will go, while breathing in and out and listening to the sound of your breath.
Continue by tightening and relaxing your upper and lower arm, one side at a time, then your chest, then your legs, beginning from the thighs and working downwards.
Once you’re physically relaxed, think about one of two scenarios: either lying in a canoe on a calm lake with a clear blue sky above you or lying in a black velvet hammock in a pitch-black room.
If you struggle with visualisation, just chant the mantra: “Don’t think, don’t think, don’t think” to yourself over and over.
COUNT… BUT FORGET THE SHEEP
DON’T count sheep, says Professor Jason Ellis, author of The One Week Insomnia Cure (Vermilion, £12.99). It’s too easy for your mind to wander.
Instead, try counting backwards from 1,000 in sevens. It doesn’t matter if you get the numbers wrong or lose your place, just as long as you concentrate.
PLAY A WORD GAME
PICK a city. It could be Birmingham, for example, then choose another that starts with the last letter, M, such as Manchester. Then Reading, and so on. Or try animals, foods, colours or items of clothing – as long as there are plenty of options.
MAGIC MAGNESIUM
THE mineral magnesium could help you regulate your waking and sleeping cycle.
In a small study of elderly people, increasing magnesium intake helped subjects fall asleep faster and improved the quality of their sleep.
So eat more magnesium-rich foods, such as spinach and bananas.
USE A SLEEP APP
WHITE NOISE will play you relaxing sounds and calming music.
Others, like Sleep Cycle, help you to understand your sleeping patterns better.
The Slumber FM app uses techniques recommended by leading sleep organisations and includes stories, meditations, soundscapes and music.
Nod off to a fairy tale, a gondola ride through Venice or a babbling brook.
BACK TO SCHOOL
TEACH yourself to sleep with Sleepio, created by sleep expert
Professor Colin Espie from the University of Glasgow.
The clinically proven online sleep improvement programme is based on cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). You will learn cognitive techniques to help tackle your racing mind and behavioural strategies to help reset sleeping patterns naturally.
It’s free to NHS patients in certain areas. Visit sleepio.com for details.
WEAR SOCKS IN BED
THIS increases blood circulation to your feet which, in turn, speeds up the rate at which your core temperature drops. And a low core temperature is imperative for sleep.
TRY TAPPING
GIVE brain tapping a go, suggests US Professor Jim Donovan, who created a Ted talk to explain it.
“Sit on the edge of your bed, rest your hands in your lap and spend a few minutes tapping lightly – right, left, right, left – at the speed of a ticking stopwatch.
Close your eyes and start slowing the rhythm down, and slowing your breathing, until you start to fall asleep.”
The brain notices a pattern, connects with it and follows it.
TAKE A BATH
UNIVERSITY of Texas scientists found that a warm bath can help you fall asleep quicker than normal.
It’s not the warmth that helps you nod off, it’s the heat being drawn from your body after you get out.
This cooling of your core temperature signals to your body that it’s time to go to sleep, as with wearing socks to bed.
SLEEPY SCENTS
ESSENTIAL oils, particularly lavender, can have a powerful effect on relaxation and sleep, Southampton University researchers say.
Try The Works Deep Sleep Pillow Spray, £19.50 (boots.com). In trials, 89% of users fell asleep faster than normal.
The herb valerian has been used for centuries to ease insomnia.
According to experts at the University of Maryland, it helps people fall asleep more quickly and leads to better quality rest.
Try A Vogel Dormeasan Valerian-hops Oral Drops, £10.49 (boots.com).
IT SOUNDS odd but, according to scientists at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, the breathing process required, combined with observing the bubbles, has a calming, hypnotic effect.
FOCUS ON YOUR BREATH
TRY a sleep-inducing breathing exercise, such as the 4-7-8 breathing technique.
Begin by exhaling through the mouth, creating a whoosh sound. Inhale through your nose for a count of four. Hold your breath for a count of seven. Exhale through your mouth for a count of eight. Repeat the cycle, completing four rounds in total.
WRITE A LIST BLOW BUBBLES
A STUDY found that people who spend five minutes jotting down their to-do list before bed nodded off nine minutes faster than those who don’t.
Lead researcher Dr Michael Scullin said writing a list of things to remember allowed people to offload thoughts, which reduced stress.
SCAN YOUR BODY
THIS mindfulness meditation technique is all about noticing parts of your body and resting your attention with them to help bring about a sense of awareness. Begin with your toes and then move your awareness through each part of your body, to the top of your head.
Be aware of the different regions of your body, and allow yourself to experience how they feel, without trying to change anything.
Counting sheep doesn’t work – try going back from 1,000 in sevens instead