Burton Mail

Is Burton full of chavs?

KEYBOARD WARRIOR LAUNCHES AN UNRELENTIN­G ATTACK ON THE WHOLE AREA

- By RICHARD CASTLE richard.castle@reachplc.com @richardcas­tle85

A KEYBOARD warrior has laid into Burton, outrageous­ly describing it as “one of the homes of the original chav”.

She has launched a tirade on an online forum, slamming people from almost every neighbourh­ood in the town.

The anonymous poster also references parts of neighbouri­ng South Derbyshire in her unrelentin­g attack on the people of the area.

She fails to mention any of the incredible claims to fame that make Burton great, from being the brewing capital of the world to pioneering national and internatio­nal brands such as Marmite and Branston Pickle.

Writing on the website ilivehere. co.uk, where the word “chav” is starred out, she wrote: “Surely one of the Homes of the original **** : the Burtonian **** can be identified into several breeds: Winshill Wasps, Stapenhill Spiders, ***** from ‘down the Avenue’ (Harper Avenue), the list goes on and on.

“Rivalled only by the neighbouri­ng Newhall **** from the dizzy heights of Swadlincot­e, Burton ***** vary from tribe to tribe – in fact, I was delighted to find an original **** still sporting a SHELL SUIT this weekend!! “If anyone reading this is from Burton, then I’m originally from Short Street, and the **** in question lives on the same street, near the supermarke­t! They had to tear the shelter down from the shops to stop the ***** congregati­ng underneath it; they weren’t actually doing anything in particular, it was just the powers that be exercising their, er, powers.

“The tribal **** ’s main varying feature, in Burton, is the haircut – Newhall ***** , or ‘Swaddies’ have a number one allover, except for a tiny ‘fringe’ at the front, bleached blond (similar to a ***** -coloured stoat colour), and this can be spiked, or brushed forward depending on the particular mood. Swaddy ***** can be found in the Sir Nigel Gresley most weekends, whilst Burtonian ***** congreagte in the Corner House: formerly known as ‘Peggy’s.’ Trendier ***** from Stapenhill go down to the Dart (aka the Deadly Dart) on Short Street, and are now branching into mullets and are becoming harder to spot, altho once a **** , always a **** .”

We would love to hear your views on what she has said in her post. Email richard.castle@reachplc.com

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