Forced to relive the death of my daughter
SHOPPERS UNWITTINGLY ASK MUM AT WORKPLACE ABOUT TRAGIC STUDENT, 20 –
Main image, the Asda store in Burton, where Sue Wood, the mother of university student Amber Wood (right), who died last year, works. She says well-meaning shoppers unaware of this fact cause her fresh heartbreak by asking her about the 20-year-old. Ms Wood, 56, is awaiting a full inquest that will try to answer questions surrounding the death of her daughter.
A MOTHER from Burton has revealed the heart-breaking pain of having to relive the loss of her daughter when people who do not know about her death ask how she is.
Sue Wood’s daughter Amber, 20, died at her student digs in Lynton Street, Derby, on October 1 last year.
An inquest into the death of the third-year psychology student opened last month and was adjourned to an unspecified date.
Ms Wood, who works at Asda in Burton, said she is still waiting for answers and revealed that shoppers who do not know her daughter has died will often approach her asking how she is doing at the University of Derby.
She said despite the good intentions of people unaware of Amber’s death, it caused her renewed heartbreak. Ms Wood said: “I have to relive the whole thing every time that happens, and it’s over and over again. It’s been seven months now and it’s just been horrendous. There have been days when I’ve just not been interested in anything.
“Sometimes I’m OK – I go to work and I come home quite normally. But sometimes it takes all the strength I have to walk out of the front door. I’m still not sleeping very well.
“When I’m home I just don’t see anyone – it’s been very lonely and so strange that I can’t pick up the phone and speak to Amber. We were so close.”
Ms Wood said it was a “relief” the inquest had finally opened.
She previously revealed her daughter suffered from a condition called hypermobility, in which joints flex and move more than is normal. It causes pain and tiredness. A preliminary cause of death was given as a toxic level of a strong painkiller. Ms Wood said Amber was told by medics she could take the painkiller to combat her hypermobility. Now the 56-year-old is awaiting the full inquest hearing. She said: “It’s the circumstances that led up to what happened I need to know about now – I need to hear the statements made by witnesses and the police. “Because of where I work, I see a lot of people and a lot of them still haven’t heard Amber has died and ask me how she is. Knowing the ball is finally rolling with the inquest is a big relief – at long last I can see light at the end of the tunnel towards closure.
“You can only grieve for so long and then it’s just hanging over your head.
“Losing a child is a totally different kind of grief. I’ve lost both parents, but losing a child, the grief is just more entrenched. You’re just stuck in limbo – you’ve not got the answers you need and you’re just wondering why it happened all the time. Even when I’m at work, sometimes my mind wanders and the thoughts are never far away.
“You see something, or someone says something to you and those thoughts are there straight away.
“I’ll never get over what’s happened, but I feel it’ll be easier to cope when I know exactly what happened. It’s not knowing why that does the most damage.”
Sometimes it takes all the strength I have to walk out of the front door.
Sue Wood