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JOE PASQUALE TALKS TO ABOUT A LIFE IN COMEDY AS HE BEGINS HIS NEW TOUR I wouldn’t win it, but I’d love to do Strictly

MARION McMULLEN

- Show Games! Hearts No With All Our Murder On The Orient Express Party

The tour is called The New Normal – 40 Years of Cack – Continued! and celebrates a career spanning more than four decades? How did it all begin for you?

I was 16 when I left school and I was a civil servant for a year. I worked for the Department of Transport and Environmen­t – Dangerous Goods Branch. I just filed paperwork and made the tea really.

Then I got a job at Smithfield’s – the meat market, Dagenham, working with Ford Cortinas, a margarine factory, building sites... and I thought “I can’t do any of these until I retire at 65”, and then I got a job at holiday camp.

Someone sent off an applicatio­n as a joke for me to go on TV talent show New Faces and applied for me without me even knowing. I got a letter saying come to an audition and I went. I didn’t have an act. I just went on and mucked about and I won the heat, came second in the grand final and never looked back.

Who gave you the best advice?

I was very lucky that Ken Dodd was on the New Faces judging panel and he had watched everything in the afternoon before the live show.

I went into make-up and he came and sat next to me. I was thinking, “Oh, my god, it’s Ken Dodd”, and he said: “Can I give you a bit of advice, son?” I thought he was going to tell me to go home, but he pulled out a bit of paper and he had my whole act written down word for word and he showed me how to move things around to get bigger laughs.

He said: “When you pull the rabbit out of your hat, put it down your trousers and shake it down your leg and it will give you an extra laugh.”

He gave me a couple of other jokes and said: “If you do this tonight, you’ll win it.” I did it and won it. He was amazing and we stayed friends until he died.

I was lucky I had some proper geniuses who helped me – Bob Monkhouse, Ken Dodd and Des O’Connor. They took me under their wing all three of them. They were mentors to me.

You were impaled on the antlers of a moose on your last tour. Is the moose being ditched this time around? I’m actually making a safer, smaller version of the moose head now.

I was in Skegness and it was the second night of the tour and I was on stage after the curtain came down and there was this moose head with big horns lying on the floor.

My show is always like a [car] boot sale afterwards with stuff strewn everywhere and I tripped over in the darkness. I was in mid-air and spun and landed in the middle of the horns on my back, but the back of my leg landed straight onto one of them. The curtain was down, and everyone heard this big crash in the audience and I lifted the curtain up and said: “Don’t worry it’s only me.”

You needed hospital treatment afterwards. How are you

doing now?

I’m OK, but I still have a big scar on my leg. I put it on Instagram and the next day I’m reading the news feeds and they say: “Legendary comedian has near-death experience.” And I thought: “Oh, I wonder who that is? I’ve got to read that,” and my name and picture came up.

Is that the worst accident you’ve had on stage?

of the Jungle on I’m A Celebrity... in 2004

Oh, no, I’ve done worst than that. I’ve dislocated my shoulder in panto, I’ve broken my foot, I’ve broken my hand and I was doing a bingo club once and I got my leg stuck in a hole and had to do my whole act with my leg in the hole and needed 15 stitches.

I’m quite accidentpr­one. I wonder every day: “What accident is it going to be today?”

You’ve done musicals and stage shows, won I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! and The Masked Singer last year as Dunny. Is there any other show you’d like to do? I’d love to do Strictly. I did Dancing On Ice about 12 years ago, but I would love Strictly.

I know I’m never going to win it, but just to get the experience of doing that show and learning how to do some dancing, and get some ballroom dancing under my belt would be fantastic.

It was great to do musicals like Spamalot. I love Mel Brooks and did The Producers and I was Frank Spencer in the tour of Some Mother’s Do ’Ave ‘Em, so I’ve been very lucky. I like challengin­g myself. If someone says, “Can you do that?” I never say no, and if I can’t I learn how to do it before rehearsals.

My only job is to make myself laugh and everyone else laugh. If it ever felt like I job, I would stop it, because it’s too hard if you are not enjoying it.

I don’t do anything political, there’s no social commentary, there’s nothing in there that’s contentiou­s.

I’m just like an 11-year-old up there having a laugh. (Chuckles) I’ve never grown up really.

The New Normal – 40 Years of Cack – Continued! tours the country until November 23.

Visit joepasqual­e.com for ticket bookings.

Joe Pasquale his only job on tour myself laugh else laugh”

What are you looking forward to on tour? BYRNE’S EDINBURGH NO SHOW

Comedian Jason Byrne (below) is returning to the

Edinburgh Festival

Fringe in August with new offering

.

The festival’s biggest-selling funnyman will be performing at the Assembly Hall before heading out on tour from October 3 and says: “No Show is literally me hanging onto the edge of a cliff by my fingernail­s as audiences witness me turn a no show into a show. Using the beautiful, improvised madness that flows between myself and the audiences to create an amazing one-off performanc­e.”

Head to JasonByrne.ie for details.

YOU’RE WELCOME TO THE PARTY...

Matthew Cottle, Debra Stephenson and Coronation Street’s Ryan Early (above with the rest of the cast) are appearing in the premiere of

by Michael McManus.

The comedy is set in the UK in 2026 where John Waggner, newly elected leader of the hastily-formed centrist One Nation Party, presides over a hung parliament. The production previews at the Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Guildford, from May 2 before touring. Go to yvonnearna­ud.co.uk for tour dates.

GALA CELEBRATIO­N OF THE NHS

West End singer Kerry Ellis (below), Celebrity Big Brother’s Marisha Wallace and Oti Mabuse are among those taking part in

at the Adelphi theatre in London on April 9 to celebrate 75 years of the NHS. All proceeds will go to NHS Charities and the gala will be directed and choreograp­hed by Arlene

Phillips. Visit lwtheatres. co.uk/whats-on/with-all-our-hearts for tickets.

NEW TOUR FOR CHRISTIE CLASSIC

is one of the greatest literary achievemen­ts of author

Agatha Christie (right) and a new stage production will be touring the UK and Ireland from September 6.

Director Lucy Bailey describes it as “fast, funny, almost farcical at times but with a dark undercurre­nt of loss and revenge”. Go to murderonth­eorientexp­ressplay.com for further informatio­n.

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Joe Pasquale says is to is to “make and everyone
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