Slip sliding away
The recent bout of sleet – I’m loath to call it snow – made many RWD cars come unstuck. The BMW 1-Series was particularly badly affected, much to my annoyance.
First, there was the 1-Series that couldn’t get into the B&Q car park because of a small, gentle incline at the gate. Then there were those that pulled out in front of me, but couldn’t accelerate off with any haste. But most amusing was the brand new 1-Series parked on the grassy area outside a BMW dealership – this particular retail park is stuffed full of dealers of all franchises, but only BMW parks its cars on the grass verge.
It was the end of a long, cold day at BCA and I was stuck in traffic outside of the dealership, staring into space, waiting to join the main road. Then I watched as a modellike young sales girl tottered onto the muddy grass in her high heels and gingerly got into the stickered-up demo. In either an act of RWD naivety, annoyance at getting muddy, or simply because of those stilettos, she opened the throttle way too wide to get it moving.
Wide tyres, slushy mud and a slight slope to the already churned-up lawn meant this BMW wasn’t going anywhere. The wheels spun, checked and finally rotated in fits as the traction control vainly tried to get momentum.
After she stalled it, she really showed who was boss by properly nailing the throttle. The by-now happed-up 1-Series started to move, but backwards. The more she revved, the more it reversed until the hedge prevented it from sliding any further and a silver birch prevented it from going any further sideways.
I’d love to tell you how this story ended, but the traffic had started moving and I missed the conclusion. Still, it amused the hell out of me.