2018 Land Cruiser Quick Group Test
Monster SUVs
MERCEDES BENZ GLE250D
Give me the back story…
Pre-2015 this was the
MClass; it sits above the GLC and below the
GLS. Five seats rather than seven, but uses the space to provide a humongous boot instead. Also available in a muscle vest with a V8 or V6, but this is the entry-level diesel four-pot.
Country mud-plugger or catalogue model?
It’s the MClass shell with a CClass nose job, and it looks the most road-ready of this quartet, more likely to be seen on a school run than near a chicken run. Spec optional oroad package for di locks, low-range ’box and underbody guards, then proceed to the school gates as the crow lies.
Fleet-footed back on terra irma?
A pleasant mode of transport to cruise around in, with air suspension biased more toward squidgy comfort than keen direction-swapping. The 2.1-litre diesel can be clattery in other Mercs but is more muled within the giant GLE.
TOYOTA LAND CRUISER
Give me the back story...
Toyota’s tectonic plate with wheels has been facelifted, but its longrunning recipe remains the same: a big body on a big frame, ive or seven seats, and the ability to drive around/over/through anything in its path. No V8 in the UK any more; just a 2.4-litre four-cylinder turbodiesel.
Country mud-plugger or catalogue model? Deinitely the former, although new Jeep-esque grille means re-nosed Land Cruiser no longer resembles Predator’s izzog. Plethora of mysterious dashboard buttons adjust ride height and transmission for crawling, wading, descending and sundry advanced o-roadery.
Fleet-footed back on terra irma?
Feels as big as it looks. On tall tyres and taller suspension, the body never quite stops moving after a bump or a corner, like a jelly being couriered to a table by a waiter.
LAND ROVER DISCOVERY
Give me the back story...
Now into its ifth generation, the onceboxy biggest Landie has smoothed o and now resembles an Evoque gradually digesting a wardrobe. You can get a petrol or diesel V6, but this is the entry-level diesel four-pot. Still costs more than 50 grand.
Country mud-plugger or catalogue model?
With poshness pouring from every pore, the Disco’s parked closer to its Range Rover stablemate’s patch than ever. About as big as an actual disco, like Studio 54 on wheels, but curiously tall and narrow with polarising rear styling. Still the best-resolved, most modern design here, though.
Fleet-footed back on terra irma?
Equally at home in Knightsbridge or Kathmandu, the Disco can wade deeper than the Cruiser and crawl over bigger obstacles, yet could also look the part picking up a VIP from a party. Not sure the other three could pull that o.
MITSUBISHI SHOGUN LWB
Give me the back story...
The world’s least pretentious SUV, and one of its more capable ones. Believe it or not, the current fourth-gen Shogun has been around since 2006. Actually not so hard to believe, because it feels even older than that to sit in and to drive.
Country mud-plugger or catalogue model?
In a world of faux-by-four crossovers, the Shogun is the real deal. As GBU says, if you don’t think you need this car, you don’t need this car. Chunky arches look great, but the clear tail lights could be from a rushed Max Power project car.
Fleet-footed back on terra irma?
Like a full-size Suzuki Jimny, it excels o the road as much as it makes life hard work on it. Shakes, rattles and body-roll make every journey feel like going on safari. Actually quite quick in a straight line but makes a heck of a lot of noise getting up to speed. Brake early to avoid disappointment.
MERCEDES BENZ GLE250D
Interior made of Gore-Tex and tarpaulin? Aluminium trim and swathes of man-made leather, yet the GLE’s interior feels curiously underwhelming for a premium-brand, premium-price car. Back-dated switchgear doesn’t help. Luxuriously roomy, though. Best toys to bore my friends about are...
Puddle lamps project the Benz three-pointer onto the pavement like some kind of misdirected Bat Signal; optional towbar has its own ESP system with trailer stabilisation for up to 3.5 tonnes; downhill speed regulation (DSR) enables ‘Look mum, no feet!’ descents.
Can I carry lots of skis/furniture/family/other cliches? This is the only ive-seater in the test (to carry six passengers you’ll need the more expensive GLS), but there’s business-class legroom and the same braked towing capacity as the Disco and Shogun (and more than the Toyota).
VERDICT Pleasant, but pricey. Not memorable enough to stand out in a class of big characters.
TOYOTA LAND CRUISER
Interior made of Gore-Tex and tarpaulin?
Monumental slabs of plastic designed to look like aluminium (they don’t), now with a bigger touchscreen and a redesigned centre console. Huge body to work with, so why the knee-bashingly low steering column? Best toys to bore my friends about are...
Might not be the nicest-looking interior, but it wants for nothing on the kit front. You name it, it’s got it; bird’s-eye parking cameras, chilly ventilated seats in the front and toasty ones everywhere, powered coolbox between the front seats...
Can I carry lots of skis/furniture/family/other cliches? Easily. Electric seats (as in powered by electric motors, not capital punishment) rise out of the boot loor to carry kids or yoga-practising adults, and the second row is split three ways – drop the middle seat as a ski hatch, or just to create more elbow-waggling room when travelling four-up.
VERDICT When Donald’s blown the world to smithereens, Land Cruisers will still be standing.
LAND ROVER DISCOVERY Interior made of Gore-Tex and tarpaulin?
Quite the opposite, actually. This is a beautifully inished interior, with soft-touch trim for doors ’n’ dash like dolphin skin, thoughtful storage solutions and impressive-feeling quality. Shame to get it muddy, really. Best toys to bore my friends about are...
Remotely lowering the suspension to make it easier to lift your shopping into the boot; stomach-wobbling bass from the 380W Meridian sound system; the Bond-esque hidden compartment behind the air-con panel.
Can I carry lots of skis/furniture/family/other cliches? Second-row seats slide in two sections and drop their three backs individually (optional Intelligent Seat Fold lets you do it via a phone app), the lid for the enormous centre cubby is double-hinged to act as a tray table for the back and while there’s no longer a split tailgate there is a powered folddown ledge to sit on. The picnic dream is alive.
VERDICT Go anywhere, do anything, feel smug about it. The best 4x4x7 seats by far.
MITSUBISHI SHOGUN LWB Interior made of Gore-Tex and tarpaulin?
Cheapest dash plastics known to man, liberal quantities of leatherette, and an obfuscating generic radio-nav touchscreen. Some ixtures feel discouragingly limsy and, arm-achingly, the steering column doesn’t adjust for reach. Best toys to bore my friends about are...
Bless it, the Mitsu’s a little behind the bunch here, but it can shyly boast a useful reversing camera, Bluetooth connection, heated leather seats and air-con for all three seat rows. Not much in the way of new-fangled USB ports.
Can I carry lots of skis/furniture/family/other cliches? Second row of seats manually fold and tumble forwards easily to access two fold-up chairs in the boot (next to a giant plastic subwoofer, handy for short-legged D’n’B fans). Middle-row seatbacks can be tilted to almost any angle to create more or less space, and the Shogun can haul up to 3500kg of braked trailer behind it if the boot’s full.
VERDICT Likeably honest, and a lot of car for the money, but feels outmoded in this company.