300-mile test: Mercedes GLB 35
AMG’s on a roll, SUVs sell and everyone loves the big, boxy G-Class, right? So just how nailed-on is a new AMG-fettled Merc compact SUV that looks (a bit) like a G-Class?
Its 302bhp is Golf R territory, but our car weighs about 1.7 tonnes
Hey, Mercedes! Take me to Ronda, but on the scenic route.’ In 10 years from now, the driver of any new well-spec’d Benz may say exactly these words, then sit back, relax and let the car do all the work. But this is 2019, and apparently there are three different routes to Ronda, with varying degrees of scenic. We opt for the longest loop, but as soon as it’s logged in the voice comes back on and warns of roadworks. Foiled.
‘Is there anything else I can do for you?’ Yes, you can. I’m cold and my back needs a physio. She ponders for a moment before she obliges: step by step the cabin temp goes from 19.5º to 22º. Then she offers me a choice of massages. We agree on level three upper torso, and moments later magic pneumatic hands are kneading my spine. ‘Seat heaters, please.’ A split second later, three red dots light up and soon all my worries seem so far away.
MBUX, Merc’s user interface, is a real asset. What could easily feel like a spy in a cab in fact resembles a near-perfect butler; Alexa with a degree in TLC. Unlike some rival interfaces, it makes life easier, safer, more enjoyable. The GLB 35 is more than just a host for MBUX, of course. It’s the new top model in the equally new GLB line-up, the GLB being Merc’s new X3/Q5/Disco Sport rival combining the G’s chunky charm with seven seats and pricing from £33k (our 35 costs £70k…) The engine is a twin-scroll turbocharged 2.0-litre four good for 302bhp. That’s VW Golf R territory, except that our accessory-laden GLB weighs about 1.7 tonnes as tested and has the drag coe£cient of a Dobermann, not a Whippet. The numbers tick all the boxes, but it takes high revs to summon them, and not all the noises you hear are of natural origin. Comfort mode packs the 295lb ft of torque in lazy cotton wool, Sport+ releases it with a vengeance. But there’s no hybrid, mild or otherwise.
The body looks as if someone pulled the plug in the middle of the morphing process from G-Class to GLA. The boxiness of the legendary G is still the dominant theme, but now with rounded edges, the whale-tooth Panamericana grille out of the AMG GT, a tapered and bespoilered rear end, and an interesting upward kink in the window line that makes the car look shorter and taller, more like a serious off-roader. This stance can be further enhanced by the extra-cost off-road kit.
Our car sits on optional 21-inch wheels. That’s the same size as the Lamborghini Urus has fitted as standard. Wearing Conti SuperContacts, the big wheels mar the ride, encouraging the GLB to tramline on the motorway, catching crosswinds and struggling to hold the road in the wet.
Whereas the wheels are a clear case of less is more, the upgrade to the 35’s brakes is definitely worthwhile. The initial response could be a tad more aggressive, and the pedal feels a little soft, but the feedback is nicely linear, modulation is spoton, deceleration is rapid and progressive. Even on long A-road descents, fading was never an issue.
And today is a day when you need good brakes, as the weather is intermittently appalling and some of the roads are much ⊲
grippier than others (and some aren’t roads at all). The plan to drive inland from the coast towards Cordoba via the mountains turns out to be a bad one. First, heavy rain starts pelting down. Then thick fog descends at the rate of a 737 cleared for the final approach. Next, snow starts to fall in fat, heavy flakes, hitting the windscreen like a swarm of translucent reeling butterflies. Before the photographer can reach for his anti-depressants, I turn off left, down the hill again and back towards the coast.
We have the road to ourselves, and the car does its best to help us make good progress. The adaptive LED headlamps carve out a constantly varying sharp-edged cone (or you can engage close-range high-intensity off-road lighting), the fully variable all-wheel-drive system sends the torque to the wheels that need it most, and splash plates divert spray from the brake discs. Only the cornering grip disappoints, but this is a common problem on rainswept Balearic by-roads. In conditions like this, the 18-inch footwear fitted to the base GLB clearly is the more pragmatic choice.
If you think of Andalucia simply in terms of the Costa del Sol – busy with pale pensioners from Germany and the UK spending the winter in budget hotels watching cable TV and drinking local beer – you need to drive west past Estepona, in the direction of Gibraltar, and experience an unspoilt waterfront and its wildlife. While the partly rocky coastline is flocked with migratory birds and vast cormorant colonies, the swamps a couple of miles inland are populated by herons, storks and flamingoes.
The GLB could have taken us right down to the shallows where egrets feed and sandpipers breed, but why intrude and on top of it run the risk of damaging the vulnerable alloys, each of which must cost as much as a crate of the very finest Jerez sherry? The secondary roads that lead away from the shoreline are virtually empty bar the odd tractor and a string of lorries transiting between quarry and harbour.
Without really looking for it, we find a long, narrow straight that’s the perfect spot to put Race Start to the test and to accelerate in a rather rapid 5.2sec from standstill to 62mph with two hardcore upshifts barely interrupting the flow. Top speed is an electronically governed 155mph.
If we were in a hurry, we would use the toll road that crosses
Andalucia from France to the Portuguese border – usually quiet, because most locals cannot afford it. But we steer clear, because Andalucia only gets interesting off the beaten track, where several national parks beckon, not to mention the picturesque white villages in the high Sierras and the green clefts that meander in countless steps to mountain peaks.
To make the AMG side of the GLB shine, select Sport or better still Sport+ before tackling the twisties. This move sidelines start-stop and the coasting mode while speeding up the torque distribution. It also gives ESP a longer leash and selects the firmest damper setting. Sport+ is tuned to further delay upshifts and trigger early downshifts. It also holds the gear almost all the way to the redline, and it fakes heeling and toeing to keep up the momentum.
All these goodies don’t turn the GLB 35 AMG into a sports car in crossover clothes, but they make fast driving more involving and rewarding. Limitations? Not enough front-end grip in the wet, and wild lift-off weight transfer with ESP off, the balanced composure repeatedly at odds with the rather harsh ride.
Comfort mode is little more than an electronically induced sleeping pill featuring very late upshifts and the tardiest throttle response this side of the Queen Mary. Having said that, it is still possible to dial in even more sluggish sub-calibrations labelled Moderate and Reduced.
The AMG community may appreciate the additional Supersport instrument graphics that depict one large digital centre read-out flanked by two wing-shaped bar graphs. Other AMG cues include the thickly rimmed steering wheel with straight-ahead marker, the low-flying front splitter and the ⊲
The AMG goodies don’t turn the GLB into a sports car. But they do make fast driving more rewarding
restyled rear apron housing two extra-large tailpipes. No money in the world buys the 415bhp engine of the Mercedes-AMG A45 S, and that’s probably a good thing due to the GLB’s significantly elevated centre of gravity.
If you want some combination of the tall and boxy looks, the off-road ruggedness and perhaps those kids-only third-row seats, you don’t need to go for the AMG version. There are perfectly decent engines available in less expensive GLBs, and we’re only a couple of years away from the zero-emission equivalent, the EQB. And don’t overlook the current GLC – which is roomier and can be had with a notably more powerful engine – and the sleeker, smaller near-future GLA.
But logic be damned. I suspect a lot of people will buy the AMG on looks and image alone. It’s funky, not too big, and very well equipped, albeit at a steep price. For me, it’s an acquired taste. And I have one last chance to acquire it.
‘Hey, Mercedes! Take me to Ronda and then to the airport. My flight departs at 3.15pm.’ The computer with the velvety synthetic voice demurs. Apparently there’s not enough time for the detour to Ronda. Hmm. Let’s see…
In full aggro mode, the red SUV throws itself with verve into the first esses, almost immediately finds its rhythm, establishes full turn-in confidence on the dry tarmac. With the transmission in manual, there’s a bracing sequence of second-third-second-third shifting, with only a short excursion into fifth. The power-assisted steering, which felt too light and detached in Comfort, is definitely on the case again in Sport+, carving one neat radius after the next into the crumbling surface with surgical skill, maintaining a fine balance of weight and effort, refraining from excessive self-centring, but with the faintest trace of waywardness.
A broad smile pops up in the rear-view mirror. Made it in time… just.
It maintains a fine balance of weight and e ort, with the faintest trace of waywardness