Mark Walton: Lewis Hamilton in Extreme E

Ach, I don’t want to criticise Lewis Hamilton, I really don’t. I think he’s a sincere person, I think he’s decent and honest and he’s a clean racer. Regardless of how many F1 titles he ends up winning, he’s a much greater champion than Michael Schumacher ever was, because he doesn’t cheat.

Still, he spouts rubbish. Like a lot of elite, private-jet-flying, gazillionaire athletes, his grip on reality is sometimes a little bit hazy. Example: he bangs on about his plant-based diet and how the world’s going to die if we don’t start eating lentils and mung beans. Meanwhile, Lewis also promotes his personally branded ‘44’ Monster Energy drink. ‘Created to power Lewis through his punishing daily schedule, as well as fuel his lust for living in the fast-lane!’ Monster says, excitedly. ‘Packaged in a custom designed can,’ the website tells us, ‘44 has been a true joint collaboration at every stage. Lewis explains: “We talked through the flavours I was into and Monster interpreted this perfectly first shot. This was the first blend I tasted. I loved it immediately.”’

I bet you did! Kerr-ching! Monster Energy (part-owned by Coca-Cola, with a turnover of around $4 billion) sold 460 million cans in the US alone last year. Now imagine that factory: picture the gigantic plant with train-loads of raw aluminium going in one end, the tall chimney stacks pumping out slate-grey smoke, the diesel lorries trundling up to collect the plastic-wrapped pallets of Hamilton’s 44 ready for worldwide distribution. Then alongside that – like a split-screen cinematic moment – picture Hamilton, sitting in his motorhome, toying with his freshly imported pak choi salad, thinking (to quote his Instagram account), ‘I’m sad right now, with the thought of where this world is going.’ Poor Lewis. Yes I know. The words you’re looking for are ‘cognitive dissonance’. Now Lewis has announced his new Extreme E racing team, called X44. You’ve heard of Extreme E: co-founded by Alejandro Agag, the man behind Formula E, it’s based around fully electric, Dakar-style off-roaders. Due to start in January 2021, the new rally series says it’s ‘committed to having a net-zero carbon footprint by the end of its first season’. Which is laudable. But when Lewis says things like, ‘I think it’s incredible that we can [take part] whilst raising awareness about the climate crisis’ I immediately think of the Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation. Because megawatt Hollywood superstar DiCaprio also cares about the environment, and he too wants to ‘raise awareness’ of the awful harm we plebs are doing – by, for example, taking too many flights to Magaluf. And it’s Leonardo’s solemn task to take first-class flights all around the world, staying in five-star hotels and catching helicopters to publicity events, in order to promote his belief that we should all change our behaviour.

Now Lewis too is going to be jetting round the world, supporting the new team which he hopes will ‘change the world for the better’. I’m sure it will. The series will visit ‘five remote locations affected by climate change’, Lewis tells us, with his serious-about-fixing-the-world face. These environmentally delicate locations include a glacier in Greenland and the Brazilian rain forest. Yes, yes I see it now! Twenty 500bhp off-roaders blasting through the dirt, supported by thousands of tonnes of equipment and hundreds of team personnel is EXACTLY what these sensitive places need! I’m sure the endangered golden lion tamarin monkeys are going to be so relieved! ‘Thank God you’re here, Lewis,’ they’ll chirp.

Incidentally, Formula E tells us that instead of air-freighting the teams around the world, they’re currently refurbishing an old Royal Mail ship called RMS St Helena, which will slowly chug across the world’s oceans to delivery the teams and act as a floating paddock. RMS St Helena is powered by two Mirrlees Type 6K diesel engines.

Face it, Lewis, if you want to save the planet, don’t take part in Extreme E. Don’t ship those containers. Don’t rack up more air miles. Don’t promote energy drinks. Or Mercedes road cars, for that matter. If you want to save the planet and be a role model, stay at home in LA and turn off your air conditioning.