All the latest news and gossip in the ‘Parish Pump’

WE live in a world of rolling TV and radio news; online news sites; and relentlessly regular radio news bulletins – except on glorious BBC Radio 4 Extra, where they’d be unwelcome intrusions between classic episodes of Hancock’s Half Hour or Round The Horne.

In medieval times there wasn’t any ‘news’ – because hardly anything interesting happened from one day to the next.

A bit like spending two weeks in Aberystwyth in January.

If Sid The Chastity Belt Welder’s wife Brenda ran off with Waldo The Cess Pit Emptier, the world couldn’t read about it in the Daily Chain Mail because paper didn’t exist.

And you could count the number of reporters and press photographers around on the fingers of your right hand.

Provided you hadn’t been caught stealing a sheep.

An early example of news was village gossip exchanged at “The Parish Pump” where villagers would meet every day to pump fresh water into crudely-made buckets and discuss local matters using crudelymade remarks.

For example . . .

“’Ere! Quince! Have you noticed the terrible smell in the air since Waldo left town?”

“Be fair, Ethelred. The smell was pretty bad when he was around!”

Centuries later, “The Parish Pump” was replaced by urchins standing on street corners selling newspapers for a penny each.

On Saturdays the price increased to a penny ha’penny to cover the cost of the TV listings magazine inside!

And all these milestones eventually led to the esteemed local newspaper you’re holding in your hands – or reading over the shoulder of the person sat in front of you on the bus.

Local newspapers have always played a vital role in binding a community together, never more so than this year, providing the necessary unbiased and in-depth local information that the national dailies can’t.

It’s all very well having instant access to news on radio or TV, but settling down in your favourite armchair – or someone else’s favourite armchair, just to annoy them – with a cuppa and your local newspaper is always something to look forward to.

Unless it contains a report of your court appearance the day before!

Or you happen to be Brenda, Sid The Chastity Belt Welder’s ex-wife!