Dreaming of death

But it was Mum’s last act of motherly love Enocia Joseph, 50, from London

Sitting at my mother’s knee, I’d watch as she measured fabric, cut patterns, stitched until her fingers were sore.

Mum Isa was a talented seamstress and I loved to see her work, creating unique and beautiful dresses for me.

I always wanted to be just like her. And one thing definitely rubbed off…

Dead people

Growing up, Mum was always open about her views on the Afterlife.

As a Christian, she believed in the idea of Heaven.

‘Our souls live on after death,’ she’d tell me.

I grew up sharing that belief, being certain that death wasn’t the end.

But it wasn’t until I was in my late 30s that Mum told me more.

‘I used to have a clairvoyant gift,’ she confessed, telling me that as a child she was able to see the dead walking around with the living.

Her father had disapproved, and he’d performed a ceremony to stop it, called ‘the darkening of the eyes’.

‘I think you’ve got second sight too,’ she told me. Mum always thought I could read her thoughts. She even called me a witch sometimes. She’d mention it often, and while I liked the idea, I’d never had any proof that I had a gift. Not until September 2014, when Mum was taken ill, aged 72.

Presence

The night before, I’d dreamt about Mum telling me she’d arranged her funeral. Tests revealed she had cancer of the bile duct, a rare form of the disease. It was scary for us. ‘You will pull through,’ I told her.

She had to.

I couldn’t imagine life without my strong, spirited mum.

All her friends and family felt the same.

When I told Mum about my dream, she smiled. ‘It’s true,’ she said. ‘I have.’ Four and a half weeks after diagnosis, Mum was in hospital awaiting an operation.

That night I was in bed when I woke suddenly, feeling a strong presence in my room.

I lived alone. How could this be?

Waking myself up fully, I could still feel that there was someone in the room with me. Then I heard Mum’s voice. ‘I want to go,’ she said, clear as a bell.

What? Was Mum saying she wanted to die?

‘No, don’t go,’ I replied quickly into the darkness.

But as quick as it had

Mum’s watching over me

arrived, the presence in my bedroom vanished and I was left alone.

Real dream

After this odd experience, I fell into a deep sleep and I had a vivid dream.

I was at my computer, sending e-mails to everyone about my mother’s death.

The e-mails contained all the details for her funeral.

In the dream I was getting over the shock of Mum’s death.

But she hadn’t passed. And I hoped she wouldn’t for years.

The following day I went to hospital to see Mum.

I didn’t want to tell her about my experiences from the night before in case it scared her.

Instead, I chatted casually about how she was feeling to sound her out. ‘Are you feeling strong, Mum?’ I asked. ‘All OK?’ Mum smiled. ‘I’m not going anywhere,’ she promised. I felt better but I had a nagging feeling about the dream that wouldn’t go away. It’d seemed real.

Telepathy

Three days after the dream, I had another strange experience. I was walking home after visiting the hospital and thought: Life won’t be the same without Mum. Again, I heard Mum reply loudly to me. ‘That’s not true,’ her voice echoed in my head. I was surprised to hear her speaking to me in this way. But maybe she’d been right when she’d told me I had a gift.

Perhaps our close bond was allowing her to communicate with me telepathically so she could comfort me when I was upset.

Yet I never got the chance to ask her about it.

Deja vu

The following day, Mum deteriorated and I got a call from the hospital to say her blood pressure had dropped dramatically. She was slipping away. I rushed to the ward. Mum was taken to ICU and put into an induced coma. And two days later, she was gone. I’d never got to say goodbye. I was devastated. The odd vivid dream was still at the forefront of my mind.

Was Mum trying to prepare me for her death? Did I have the dream to help me cope? I wondered, making my way home from the hospital. Only days later, I found myself at my computer sending out e-mails about Mum’s funeral arrangements. A strong feeling of deja vu hit. It was exactly as I had seen myself in my dream. I can’t say I was surprised. I had hoped Mum wouldn’t die from her disease, but it was obviously her time to go. A strong lady, she’d understood that. And I think she was trying to help me realise it, too.

A better place

Mum’s funeral was held at her church, and it truly was a celebration of her life.

Friends and family spoke about their memories, including old school mates, and the ceremony was full of laughter and tears.

We had a wake in a hall with food, music and drinks – Mum loved all of these things!

It was a great party and a fabulous send off.

I still remember all those years ago, watching Mum sew my clothes while she told me about her belief in Heaven. Thanks to those memories, I know Mum is in a better place and she’s still watching over me.

I think the dream was Mum’s way of preparing me for the worst. She sent a premonition as her last act of motherly love.

My mum and I had a close bond I could feel there was someone in the room with me