Harrowing memories

Gran and I clung to each other, but those next months are a blur of grief.

It was around that time that Mum left Ronald, and the abuse stopped. But I still kept his secret, focused on coping without Grandad, being there for Gran.

They’d been married over 40 years, and she was lost without him.

I fell pregnant at 18, had a son, and got my own place.

But my anger at Ronald grew and grew.

A year later, in 1989, I was chatting to Mum when Ronald’s name came up in conversation.

‘He tried it on with me,’ I blurted.

‘What?’ Mum cried, stunned.

Suddenly, it all tumbled out. I told her everything.

Distraught, Mum called the police. I gave a harrowing six-and-a-half-hour statement, dredged up all the sickening things Ronald had done over the years.

Ronald was dragged in for questioning but, in the end, it was my word against his.

Because of ‘insufficient evidence’, the case against him was dropped. I felt betrayed.

Abandoned.

He should’ve been the one feeling ashamed, but instead, I did.

And Ronald just got on with his life, thinking he’d got away with it.

I worried myself silly that he was hurting other kids, but was helpless to do anything.

So I spent the next 28 years blocking out the past, ignoring the nightmares, the terrible recurring flashbacks.

My son, now 28, grew up into a lovely young man, and I was so proud.

Sadly, Gran suffered dementia and was later diagnosed with cancer, so I cared for her until she passed away in April 2013. Over the years, Mum and I grew closer – she’d always believed me.

I met someone, too, found some happiness.

Then, last December, a detective called.

‘We’re investigating Ronald Campbell,’ he said.

Another victim had come forward and officers had dug out my statement from 1989.

My heart plummeted, anger pulsing through me.

‘I told them!’ I raged to Mum. ‘He should’ve been locked up decades ago.’

I hadn’t told my partner everything, and it was hard explaining it to her, having it all dredged up again. But she was so supportive. And, this time, Ronald Campbell, 71, was charged.

This March, he appeared at Dundee Sheriff Court, facing a string of sexual abuse charges.

Rape charges against me were being discussed.

Finally.

Only, eight days later, an officer called – Ronald Campbell had been found dead at home.

I was absolutely devastated, outraged at the news. It seems he may have committed suicide, but we’re not sure yet – there’ll be a report made.

But the criminal case was in an early stage. And, now he’s dead, it’s been dropped. So now I’ll never get closure. When I close my eyes, I can still see his smirking face as he raped me, smell the tobacco on his hands.

That coward stole my childhood, my innocence. And my chance of justice. Not once, but twice.

i worried myself silly that he was hurting other kids